sᴛᴀʏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴇ - ʏᴜɴɢɪ ✓

ᴘᴀʀᴛ 17

...

The night got darker the later it got.

The only thing that lit up Mingi's room was the moonlight that came through the window. Mingi and Yunho sat on the bed. Neither of them looked anywhere else. Yunho took a deep breath. He would tell Mingi everything, everything. Also things he had never told anyone. Mingi looked intently at Yunho.

"It all started when I was a kid. My parents often had to pick me up from kindergarten because I was fighting with the other children. Sometimes it was just about toys or stuff like that, but sometimes it wasn't."

Yunho swallowed.

"I had trouble in sharing. Whether objects or people. I didn't know why back then but now I know it was probably because of my parents. When my cousin was born they gave him their full attention. At dinner, for example, when he came over the only thing that mattered was whether he was happy. If I didn't like the food or didn't have an appetite, they wouldn't even notice. If I told them I wanted to play too, they sent me to my room. I spent a lot of time alone and started looking for things, which were better about my cousin. When I played with other children in kindergarten, I tried to adapt to them so that they would like me. As soon as they didn't play with me anymore, I felt like they were like my parents. This pain then turned into anger and so I often started fights."

Yunho paused for a moment. Mingi took his hands to let him know that he was still listening and that he was there for him.

"Everything was better at school then. I had a lot of friends and I was pretty good at suppressing my jealousy. Until the day I came home. My sister was born in the meantime and I heard them tell her that they finally had a real child and that they are so happy about Yumi. From then on everything went the wrong way."

Yunho took another breath. It wasn't easy for him to talk about all of this, but he felt relieved to tell someone.

"I started hating my sister and my parents. I only made trouble at school and didn't really listen. I often ran away from home at night even though I was only 12 years old. I would walk around somewhere all night just to be away from home. qI don't think there was a day when my parents really gave me love or attention. When someone else gave me the attention, I kind of became addicted to it. Since I didn't know this feeling, I just longed for more. My parents started having more and more problems with me, which seemed to bother them. My mother got sick at some point and my father blamed me. When I got into high school, I met Jongho. He was the most important person to me and yes I was obsessed over him and always wanted to see him. He didn't get it and thought I was into him. He found it disgusting and distanced himself. After a while he came back to me and we made up. That was the time my mother was getting really sick and the day she died my father took his own life. When I got home from school I found them both in their bedroom. At first I was relieved but then everything just felt wrong. I spent my whole life looking for the reason why they didn't like me and wanted to prove to them that I was worth loving, but after their death I couldn't anymore. I had to take care of Yumi all by myself and at first I hated it. After a while, however, I realized how important she was to me and since we only had each other I was just happy. All of this distanced me from my friends and from Jongho. But Jongho didn't start to leave me alone. It was as if he had changed. One day he tried to kiss me, I didn't understand it and then he said that was what I wanted. He molested me for a few weeks after that and after I left high school we had a big fight. After that we never spoke to each other again. I hurt him, I know that. He didn't understand me and neither did I."

Yunho exhaled. He was surprised how easily he could tell everything off without breaking down.

"Every day with my sister was hell, but she alone made me so happy that I didn't give up. I should have picked her up from school the day she died. It is all my fault. It felt like I'm the reason no one likes me or I lose everyone. I didn't want to live anymore so I tried everything to not have to live or feel anymore, but in the end I couldn't. Something in me wanted to live. The day it got worst, I called San. He had given me his number after helping me. He saved me and I came to you."

It was quiet for a moment. Nobody spoke.

"Mingi, I know I'm difficult, but I've changed. I'm not as possessive as I used to be. Yes, sometimes I still depend on others, but I would never hurt anyone. Let alone kill my parents. I'm often jealous yes, but only because I'm afraid of not being enough for others. And I can turn that off. I'm not like I used to be."

Yunho looked up and only now he noticed that Mingi was crying. Yunho took Mingi's face in his hand and wiped away his tears.

"Believe me I would never hurt you or San. You saved my life and I changed. Even if all that pain never leaves me, I have a reason to live on and if you let me, I'll show you that I'm worth it."

Mingi let out a loud sob, then he hugged Yunho. "I'm sorry." Mingi ground out before his voice broke up. "For what?" Yunho asked, enjoying the warmth.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you sooner. Thanks for telling me." Yunho closed his eyes. He felt lighter than ever. As if all his problems and fears were taken away from him. For the first time he felt really loved and valued and no matter if it was just friendship between him and Mingi or more, he would never leave him again or make him unhappy.

Yunho pushed Mingi a little away and then looked at him. He smiled.
"I was afraid you would hate me or see me as abnormal if I told you all this, so I didn't say anything. Not because I don't trust you." Mingi also smiled. "Yunho you are not abnormal. You are unique and since I have known you, I have had this feeling that I always have to be by your side. Believe me I need you more than you need me. You are not sick and even if you become addicted to me. I like you the way you are. There's nothing wrong with you."

Yunho's gaze wandered over Mingi's face, which was illuminated by the blue light from outside. Yunho wondered how someone like Mingi could exist and if it was fate that they met. "Thank you.", Yunho said now in a clear voice. Mingi smiled at him. He wanted nothing more than to see Yunho happy.

Yunho and Mingi lay back in bed, but that night Mingi would not let go of Yunho for a single second.

.....