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That night, Yunho found it difficult to fall asleep. Tired, he watched Mingi next to him who was already asleep. Flashbacks from past events flooded up and Yunho didn't know what to feel.
...
Silence.
Yunho and Mingi were sitting on the couch. Yunho nervously chewed his lips, which were on Mingi's lips a few minutes ago. He didn't know what to say or do. He had no words for what had happened.
Yunho was about to just get up and run away in embarrassment, but Mingi was before him and broke the silence.
"Do you want to talk about that with
Jongho?" he asked cautiously and looked at Yunho.Jongho? Are you serious?
As if I could think of anything but you right now. Yunho smiled and shook his head. "Doesn't really matter.""I understand." And back came the akward silence. Yunho wanted so badly to talk about what had happened, but he was too shy to take the first step. He was also afraid Mingi would leave him if he expressed his feelings. Maybe the kiss was just a mistake. Or Mingi didn't want to make Yunho sad and therefore kissed him.
Whatever it was, Yunho decided not to bring it up. What happened happened and Yunho would probably just have to forget about it.
.....
In the evening, Yunho came home again. He spent the day in a park not far from Mingi's apartment. He had to think about everything. Despite the passage of time, he came to no decision. On the contrary, Yunho was even more confused than before and Mingi couldn't let go of his thoughts.
When Yunho came into the room and slowly lay down next to Mingi, Mingi had already closed his eyes but was not sleeping.
"Where have you been?" he asked without opening his eyes. Yunho winced, thinking Mingi was already asleep. "Just a little walk outside." Yunho said. It was a little exaggerating since he'd been gone for over four hours, but he just didn't dare to come home.
Mingi nodded and then raised his arm. "Come here," he said.
Yunho's heart started beating faster. Mingi did this every night, but after what happened it didn't feel the same anymore.Heart pounding, Yunho lay down next to Mingi and put his arm on his chest. Yunho wondered if Mingi had already forgotten what had happened or if he just didn't care. Hadn't anything changed for him?
Mingi put his arm around Yunho and pulled him even closer to him. Then he slowly opened his eyes. "Yunho?"
"Yes?" The air was electric. Yunho was getting more and more nervous the longer he was in the same room with Mingi. It was quiet for a while. Yunho thought Mingi had already fallen asleep.
All of a sudden, Mingi put his hand on Yunho's head and started playing with his hair. Yunho couldn't help but look up at him and stare at him. He was afraid Mingi would hear his heartbeat, it was already that fast. "Yes?" Yunho asked again since Mingi never answered. Mingi also looked at Yunho and when their eyes met time stopped.
Not a second passed and Mingi pushed Yunho off him and then rolled over him so that Yunho was underneath him. Then he bent down and started kissing Yunho. But not cautious as before. No, he pressed Yunho into the mattress with his whole body and kissed him passionately. Yunho's eyes widened in shock. Then he pushed Mingi away and looked at him. He recognized Mingi's desire in his eyes.
"What are you doing?" Yunho whispered. He felt like his heart was going to explode any minute.
Mingi started breathing normally again and looked all over Yunho's face.
"I want to kiss you. Please.", Yunho's heart skipped. Was this all a dream?
"Why?" Yunho just managed to get out. Mingi's look made him weak. He barely managed to talk normally. "I have no idea what you're doing to me, but I haven't been able to think about anything else since lunchtime. And you've been gone for so long. I almost died." Yunho looked at Mingi totally overwhelmed. Was he serious?
"Mingi, I'm confused.", he admitted honestly. He didn't understand Mingi and even less himself. "I'm honestly confused too. Why did you kiss me?" Yunho swallowed the lump in his throat. He would have to confess his feelings to Mingi and he was afraid of what would happen then.
"I..I.", Yunho stuttered and looked around. "I think I like you. And not just as a friend. And it has been for a long time. I'm sorry I know I probably misinterpreted your actions. I know we're just friends. I'm sorry." Yunho narrowed his eyes. He didn't want to look at Mingi or hear his answer. Had he ruined everything again?
Had he done everything wrong again?
Why did everything have to end badly with everyone?He was a burden to his parents, never made it easy for them. His sister who even died because of him. His friends who he deliberately ignored. Jongho his best friend who was always there for him but he pushed him away. And now Mingi his best friend who he can never be normal friends with again. It will never be the same again. Because of a small mistake. And San who helped him, but Yunho has nothing to give him in return.
"Yunho.", Mingi said and pulled him out of his thoughts. He had noticed how Yunho's gaze suddenly became emotional.
"I know I ruined everything. I know you probably hate me now. I'm so sorry." Yunho suddenly blurted out. Mingi immediately began to contradict him.
"What are you talking about? I would never hate you and you didn't ruin anything. I'm still here and I will be here tomorrow too. "Mingi carefully went to Yunho's face with his hand and slowly stroked his cheek.
"Stop worrying about everything."Yunho swallowed.
"Can we just forget about the whole day today. I want us to stay friends. I'm afraid I'll ruin everything else. Can everything just be the same as before?"Mingi looked at him for a while and then nodded. "Then let's sleep.", he got off Yunho and snuggled under the covers and then turned off the light.
In his mind, however, he was still thinking about what Yunho had told him. That he liked him. Mingi had already thought after their first kiss that Yunho saw him as more than just a friend. However, he didn't want to pressure him into admitting anything he might not be ready for yet. Also, Mingi himself was confused about what he felt after the kiss.
When Yunho came back in the evening, Mingi realized that he missed him. Whether as a friend or more, he wanted Yunho to stay with him forever. He didn't know why he kissed him back. He didn't know what it was. He didn't even know if he liked boys in general. It was just too much.
After Yunho was in his arms he just went with his feelings. He didn't think, he just wanted to kiss him again. Just having that feeling again, which he didn't understand. When he connected his lips to Yunho's and thus pressed him into the mattress, he couldn't pull himself together. He had this burning sensation in his stomach and his heart was exploding.Even if he didn't understand it, he wanted more. But Yunho pushed him away. He looked totally surprised but calmed down. Mingi finally asked him why Yunho kissed him. This question had been buzzing around in his head all day.
When Yunho finally said what he felt, something triggered in Mingi that he had never felt before. Something that makes his heart beat faster.
Suddenly Yunho got emotional and said they should stay friends. On the one hand, Mingi didn't want it. He didn't understand what was wrong with him, but he wanted to find out with Yunho. He wanted to show him and tell him what he felt. On the other hand, however, he is afraid that Yunho would feel uncomfortable after just wanting to be friends. So he decided to just let it go instead of forcing it.
He lay back with mixed feelings...
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I know this chapter is extremely short but I didn't have any time to upload more sorry..The next chapter will be much longer with much more story.. so see u on Friday<3
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