[satosugu] saturday night live || moonlilies

(¬‿¬ ))))✧

Text messages  〚November 28, 2017〛

(5:21 PM) Shoko: u coming 2 the airport?

Suguru: ill pass sorry (5:21 PM)

(5:21 PM) Shoko: ok

(6:00 PM) Shoko: u pack ur bags yet

Suguru: satoru told you? (6:12 PM)

(6:12 PM) Shoko: idk

Suguru: . (6:12 PM)

(6:12 PM) Shoko: ?

Suguru: yes (6:13 PM)

(6:13 PM) Shoko: ok send me ur address when u move

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✰Omoide no yokocho✰ episode #18 transcript — excerpt  〚May 05, 2018〛

SUGURU: Alright, let's bring in our caller.

[Beeping sounds as the line tries to connect]

CALLER, voice distorted: Hello?

SATORU: Yeah, hi! Do you have something you want to get out into the world today?

CALLER: Of course, or else I wouldn't have called.

SUGURU: Oooh, snarky. You sound just like someone I know.

SATORU: And who might this be, pray tell?

SUGURU: That's a secret. Please go on, caller.

CALLER: Alright, this is about two of my friends. Let's call them Dumbass 1 and Dumbass 2.

SATORU: Gotcha.

CALLER: This happened pretty far back, just in case they figure out who they are(¬‿¬ )

SUGURU: We strongly suggest not smiting their persons if they do listen to this podcast. We take no responsibility for any damages incurred.

SATORU: Yup, everything is on caller.

CALLER: It's fine. I just wanted to tell you guys about how fucking stupid they are.

SATORU: (laughs) That's always fun, but how so?

CALLER: So a while back, Dumbass 1 went to a party because he was going through some things. I don't know exactly what happened in that party, but apparently he called Dumbass 2 to come pick him up at three in the morning.

SUGURU: Something like that may or may not have happened to me too before.

CALLER: What a coincidence!

SATORU: Right?

CALLER: And Dumbass 1 and Dumbass 2 weren't on the best of terms then so it was kinda weird. Dumbass 2 brought Dumbass 1, who apparently had been extremely clingy, home. Dumbass 1 threw up on the floor of Dumbass 2's house and then fell asleep on their couch.

SUGURU: What a dipshit.

SATORU: What the— [bursts into laughter; CALLER also starts laughing.]

SUGURU: It wasn't even that funny!

CALLER: I had to help Dumbass 2 haul Dumbass 1 somewhere so there wouldn't be a mess afterwards.

SATORU: Those two sound like a serious problem if you ask me.

CALLER: I want to get rid of them.

SATORU: You have other friends to crash with, caller?

CALLER: You never know.

SUGURU: I hope you do.

CALLER: Oh, yeah, I definitely hope so too.