[satosugu] saturday night live || moonlilies

♡(*'∀｀*人*'∀｀*)♡

09:13 AM  〚February 13, 2019〛

Satoru reads the paper.

Then he rereads it until he has every single fiber of the paper seared in his mind.

Then, in a flash of madness, he takes the train to a single-room residence near a coffee shop in Tokyo.

He doesn't even knock; he just comes in.

"Suguru, what—stop looking at me like you just saw a ghost—what does this mean?" He waves the paper around. "Remember to throw your trash properly next time, idiot."

"Fuck," the idiot whispers, and then clears away the table to rest one arm on it. "Is that the in another life pr—"

Satoru takes a seat on the bed. "The in another life prompt, yes."

"Fuck," Suguru says, now with more emotion. "Fuck."

"I need other words from you, loverboy," Satoru says, waving the paper around again. "First of all, we didn't talk about this kinda prompt, and second, I don't think we can reveal this much in a public episode."

Suguru closes his eyes and looks away from Satoru. "It's called trying to brainstorm, you ass."

"Well we can brainstorm about it now." Satoru flattens the paper on the bed, straightening out the creases.

"I don't want to."

There are fences Satoru can jump—Suguru wasn't impervious to him, sure, but he knows when to push and when to pull. That's the thing with knowing someone beyond your soul, Satoru thinks, and smiles to himself briefly before steeling himself for impact. "Suguru."

"Can we forget this happened?"

"If you had so many things to tell me, then why don't you do it to my face?"

"I threw that away because it wasn't even supposed to reach you. It wasn't supposed to reach anyone."

"Right, of course. So, of course, I'm going to leave and forget this ever happened, all the while knowing the shit on here concerns me and you, is that it? And I'm going to spend more than half my weeks with you knowing about this—knowing you know I know—and I won't mention it? Copy. Crystal clear." Satoru stands up.

Suguru rubs his temples. "What do you even want to fucking know? Everything's on there."

"Suguru—"

"No. Why are we doing this?"

"Because I—" Satoru swallows, and then barrels on, "Because I miss you too, idiot, didn't you know?"

Nothing happens.

Satoru dimly registers Suguru's slow exhale. The ringing in his head is quickly escalating, telling him go right now, 'you shithead, you ruined everything, congratulations'. He's said too much again. He's ruined what semblance of peace and normalcy they've developed over the past year, and he doesn't know if they could ever return from this. Fuck, Shoko's going to murder him. Not if he does it first, though.

He doesn't even feel like he has complete control over his eyes. He only knows in some part of the back of his mind that Suguru's face had gone through four emotions in the last thirty seconds, and that he was looking more and more like someone who'd succumbed to defeat.

He hopes Suguru knows it would mean something if they'd fought over it. If he'd be cast out forever from his to-be ex-best friend's life all because he doesn't know what the word 'boundary' means. He almost wants Suguru to chuck a dictionary at him in retaliation; just anything physical so he'd know where the hell he's at.