Free to be

15

The first two months of school seemed to have flown by, the work load has been piling up and we have gotten our first set of tests done, the two weeks that was happening everyone turned into test monsters. I think even Erin snapped at random freshman for standing by her locker and yelling at her friend. We lost our third game but came back with a win for the fourth. With the colder weather comes by favourite time of year for two reasons. One it is my birthday and two it is Halloween.

For my birthday I decided to do a pizza and movie evening. I was super excited for it, Lizzy and mom were making me a basketball cake and I had set up the basement for a sleepover. Everyone is coming. After a long inner debate I invited Sienna and she accepted which I was shocked about. At school she is cool and barely acknowledges me, apart from a smirk and if she is having a particularly good day she will nod in my direction. Nothing overly friendly. But we do text constantly and so I decided to bite the bullet and invite her. My friends were surprised I invited her but they seem to have gotten over the fact that we talk.

"Get your fingers out of the icing bowl." Mom slaps my hands away as I go for another bit of orange icing. I pout, and with a sigh she hands me a spoon. I grin, taking a big one and sitting contently on the counter as they continue in their cake making. Mom is good at baking, she rarely does it, usually only for birthdays or when the grandparents visit but when she does it is worth the wait.

"Can we order from Regio's?" I ask referring to the pizza later tonight.

"Yes, your father said he would do that." Mom hates phone calls.

"Can I get a pepperoni?" Lizzy asks bouncing up from her position of concentration on the cake.

"Yes." mom sighs, wiping at her nose with the back of her sleeve and succeeding in smearing orange icing on her forehead. Lizzy giggles and I let out a short laugh which turns into a groan of disgust as dad comes into the kitchen and licks it off.

"Yuck!" Lizzy yells as he places a kiss on her forehead right after. I bury my face in my hands, sometimes they are so extra.

"You girls better go and get ready." Dad warns, looking at our flour and dirt covered clothes which we might have spent the day in trying to get everything ready. I had to haul all the blowup mattresses out from the shed at the bottom of the yard and it was very messy and Lizzy was baking with mom the whole morning. Jenny escaped the prep by having her soccer practice. She will be home in time for the first movie.

"Dips the shower first!" I yell bolting out the kitchen and heading for the bathroom. I still need to wash my hair and dry it. Ethel made me promise that now it is getting colder I would wash my hair and dry it after instead of letting it air dry like I had been doing all summer. Something about setting a good example. In record time I am dressed in my new pj's, they have panda's all over them and waiting on the couch for everyone to arrive. Danna and Jake arrive first, bringing with them big gifts of sweets and basketball related things. Erin comes next with a new headband and a t-shirt that has our faces from kindergarten printed on them. We immediately pull them over our pj's and take multiple pictures. I wait, chatting to everyone as the minutes tick by and Sienna doesn't appear. When half an hour passes and my dad says he is ordering the food my stomach sinks. She is not coming. I try message her and call but I just get voicemail. I try smile as we head down to start the first movie but I am worried, where is she? She said she would come, she confirmed the time only last night. What if something happened?

I try to enjoy the rest of the evening, smiling and laughing along with my friends and I do have fun but it seems like something is missing. A large part of me is drifting and watching the fun from a distance as if I can see and hear everyone but not quite reach them. I hate it, this feeling of being a little lost and all because of one person, I am scared she is getting hurt or worse.

It isn't until hours later when everyone else is asleep, passed out from too much cake and pizza along with the soda's my parents stacked up on that I get an answer.

Just one word.

Sorry.

It is from a number I do not recognize and I hate it, instantly calling the number. Sneaking out the basement and into the lounge as Sienna picks up.

"Are you okay?" I demand in a whisper waiting for her to say she is.

"Sorry I couldn't make it." Her voice is soft and a whisper.

"What happened?" She doesn't confirm that she is okay.

"Nothing, just I need to stop talking to you."

"What why?" I demand forgetting I am supposed to be whispering.

"We-we just can't talk anymore, Tori." I hate that there is something broken in her voice like she is defeated. Her battle doesn't end today I will not let it.

"Did Parker do something to you?!" I demand my fist clenching when I hear her sniff in the background. "I am coming to get you, where are you?"

"No, Tori, I am fine." She is lying " I need to go."

"No wait-" She hangs up and I am left staring at the clock on the wall. Four hours in and my birthday has been the worst one yet. I try call the phone again but it goes straight to voicemail and I know she has turned it off so I can't call her. Siting down I place my head in my hands and sigh, I do not know what to do. I must fall asleep there because I wake up a few hours later to Erin staring at me with concern.

"You okay?"

"Yes, sorry I must have fallen asleep" I trail off unsure how to proceed, she merely tilts her head and gestures to the kitchen.

"Jenny is making pancakes, ready for an epic birthday dinner?" I nod and she helps me up, dragging me to the kitchen where everyone yells happy birthday, piling cream and syrup on their plates. We are all pigs and I love it.