Free to be

21

Sienna is not at school the rest of the week. I hear no news from her and I hope that it means that it is good news. Except on Saturday morning as I am on my way to Eloise's I get a call from her moms number and my stomach drops. 

"Mrs Rose?" I ask pulling over least she delivers some terrible news and I crash.

"It is me." I breath out in relief "You okay?"

"Sorry," I muter flexing my fingers "When I saw your moms number I sort of freaked."

"Oh, sorry."

"It's fine." I pause, running a hand through my hair. "How are you?" I am asking about everything, I want to know it all, how it went down, how she is feeling what her parents said, what is going to happen now.

"Want to come over?"

"I am on my way to fetch Eloise to play some ball." 

"Oh." I can hear the disappointment in her voice which is new, normally I can't hear anything other than impassive indifference. Forced indifference. 

"I will call and ask if we can postpone it," I say before I can stop myself, I have been waiting far too long for this call, this information that I am not going to miss it. "I will be there soon."

"Okay." She hangs up and I quickly shoot Eloise a text that something came up, she sends a thumbs up and feeling slightly guilty I flick my indicators and change direction. 

As soon as Mrs Rose opens the door I am engulfed in a hug. She is shaking, I return the hug, patting her back as I realize she is not only shaking but crying.

"Are you okay Mrs Rose?" I ask as she continues to hug me.

"Oh dear, I am sorry." she pulls herself away, wiping her eyes, they are red and swollen. She has obviously been crying for a while "Sienna told us everything, what you did for her and I am just so grateful she has someone like you in her life. "

I colour as she engulfs me in a hug.

"Mom!" Sienna appears over her shoulder and I see her full face for the first time without any makeup. The bruises are fading, she has freckles. she is beautiful. I might be mistaken but I see a slight colour appear in her cheeks as she meets my eyes. 

"Sorry." Her mom pulls away again. "Can I get you anything? water? tea? coffee?"

"Oh," I look at Sienna who shakes her head and I smile "A coffee would be brilliant, can I help you?" Sienna rolls her eyes and I merely smile, I like her mom. 

"No no," She waves away my offer "I am sure you girls have a lot to catch up on, I will bring you some coffee." She disappears with a sniff and I am left with Sienna. The air feels lighter and yet the energy seems to be buzzing with expectation. We stand staring at each other for a while before she speaks up. 

"She has been crying non-stop for five days." She explains hanging on to the last step. "My dad left immediately after I told them, went to his parents."

"Everything is fine now?"

"Yes," she nods and suddenly there are tears dripping down her face, I can tell she did not expect it but they are unstoppable as I move forward, pulling her into a hug, trying to hold together all the broken pieces. "I-it feels unbelievable that I could be free of him." She whispers against my shoulder. I squeeze her tighter because I can't quite believe it either. It takes five more minutes before we make it too her room, coffee cup in hand, her mom caught us before we could escape and handed me the cup. It is delicious. 

we sit on the floor facing each other, she pulls her sleeves over her hands as I take sips of the warm drink and wait for her to be ready. She has already gone through so much the best I can do is exercise a little bit of patience. 

"Turns out his parents were getting fed up with him as well." She picks at her carpet , long fingers appearing only just out of her hanging sleeves "when my dad told them what had been happening, well apparently they freaked out." I nod, wondering what my parents reaction would be if they got told one of their children was abusing their partner. It is a hard pill to swallow. "At first they didn't  want to believe my dad but he showed them pictures that we had taken of my face and told them the truth about my arm. " She uncovers where her cast is hidden and my stomach clenches "He told them that Parker was using their agreement of aid as a threat and they were shocked."

She sighs then and the tears appear once more, streaming down her face " apparently their agreement was already cemented and it definitely  was not contingent on us dating, it seems ridiculous now that I thought Parker had any power, but apparently the only faith they had in him was that he was still dating me." Her snort is  humorless as she wipes away the tears.  "I feel so stupid now."

I reach over, gently squeezing her hand "Don't gaslight yourself like that. "Her blue eyes have melted " your feelings and fears where real in that moment so don't  look at them with the same knowledge you have now."

"Thank you." She wipes her eyes and brings her legs up to hug them " My parents have found a therapist for me, I am having my first appointment  after Christmas holidays."

"That's  good."  I watch as she nods,  finishing off the coffee I place it too the side. "It seems like it is all going to be fine."

She nods lifting her head " thank you, for helping me."

"You did the hard part."

Even now, her hair a little greasy and her eyes bloodshot she is beautiful. Her smile is small and cautious and still I think she could win beauty contests. I bite my tongue and sit on my hands, wanting to tuck some hair behind her ear. Now is not they time time that. Now she needs to heal. She is like a bird who has broken  her wings. She needs to realize that her wing is mending and then only can she test it out.

There is no easy solution,  no time frame. She needs space and I can give it to her.