This dedicated to my best friend aka me bc bitch I'm fab 💁🏽✨💓🌙
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I was going through the fridge looking for something to eat. I haven't eaten all day. Usually at lunch I would eat something but I don't know today I just didn't do it. I guess my nerves got the best of me.
I'm just nervous and confused and a whole bunch of other stuff. It's all messing with my head. I don't like Matt like he likes me, but that kiss there was just something about it. I actually liked it. That's not bad right?
I honestly still didn't want him coming over. Not just because Cam is coming as well, but because I don't want to be even more confused. I'm a mess right now I don't need this adding up.
I closed the fridge in disappointment. I didn't find anything. The struggle is real. There is literally have no food in here. Well there's no food that I like.
I slowly walked into the living room and turned on the tv. I switched it to MTV and Catfish was on. Absolutely love this show. Max is cute. Even if you don't think he's cute, he's cute I don't care. Nev can get it too. Kidding.
I was too busy to realized that someone had been knocking on the front door. I loudly groaned because I was in the middle of watching my show. I walked over to the door and opened it without thinking of looking through the peephole. What if it was a robber I just gave him an easy way to get me.
Oh well. I opened it and Matt was standing there. My heart dropped. I lightly smiled, he smiled back and just awkwardly stood there.
"Hey," He started. "Can I come in?" He asked
That would help. "Of course." I dropped my smile and let him in. We walked into the living room, now I just realized I can't watch Catfish since he's here. Unless he wants to watch it with me.
"Do you want to watch Catfish with me?" I asked
He shook his head no. I sighed kind of annoyed. I want to watch my damn show. I sound like such a child.
"Oh," I looked at the tv turning it off. "So you wanted to talk?" I want to make this quick so I can get back to my show. Good thing it just started.
"Yes. About that Loren. I just want to explain myself and why I've been so rude to you lately." He told me
It's very clear that he still likes me. I just wish that I could feel the same way so I would t hurt him. I did it one too many times. I'm starting to feel even more guilty than I was feeling before.
"I really do like you. I know you don't like me like that. I completely understand. I'm not forcing you to like me back I just want to say give it a shot? I'm so sorry for being such an asshole to you. Jack and I aren't even friends he was doing me a favor. I'm not even going to sugar coat it I was using him to piss you off. He still hates me but that's not the point. I feel like such an asshole. I'm sorry Loren. Please give me a shot and forgive me."
I'll forgive him obviously, but I don't want to 'give it a shot' I don't do relationships. I told him this so many times. I knew he would get the wrong idea if I kissed him back. I shouldn't have let him. I should have just said no to talking to him in the first place.
Then again that would make me seem like a bitch. I keep denying him so he's gonna keep getting pissed off. I can't keep doing that. So I let him kiss me and I just so happened to accidentally kiss him back?
"I hear what you're saying. I do, but I don't do relationships. I've told you this already. I do forgive you though."
He smirked but looked away. "I respect that," he said nodding his head. "How about we take things slow?"
