Living with dying

DESIRE

"I like him" I said
"I knew it. So, what are you waiting for?" Falcon replied with a question.
"I'm scared, what if I'm not good enough for him?"
"That's what you are worried about? Winter you are more than enough and if Leo can't see that....I'm sorry, I know his my friend, but he would be a feeble minded being."

We shared a laugh.

"So was it that obvious?" I asked him embarrassed.
"Well yeah! Everytime you look at him your face turns pale. You stutter when he speaks to you and you stare at him when he talks. It's like in your mind, no one else exists except you and him. I'm offended" He replied fondly and joked on the last sentence.

"But what if it doesn't work?" I asked him scared.
"You will make it work." He gently squeezed my hand.
Maybe Falcon is right. Maybe I should let it happen. If it's meant to be, it will be.

The english teacher walked in and started teaching. Luckily I could put Leo in my mind on hold long enough to listen to her.

When the class ended, I knew it was math next...meaning I would see Leo.
Maybe not sitting next to him is a great idea.
I would be able to listen in class and avoid the confusion and war in my mind.

I quickly went into class and went straight to an empty sit without even looking around the class incase he was in there already.
When I sat down I spotted him at the corner of my eye, staring at me, I could tell he was confused and a bit sad.

Usually, no matter what class I share with him, I always sit next to him.
This was unusual, for the both of us.
Why am I even ignoring him? I agreed to go for ice cream with him after school, so this didn't really help.
Maybe I could pretend there is an emergency at home, but I don't want to jinx it.

Oh I could say I have a stomach bug or a migraine.
Or I could just stick to my promise and go with him.

It was lunch next which meant, I could not avoid him at all unless I sat with Emma.
Then I remembered she got into a fight with her friends so she's joining us today.
Flip!

While walking towards where they were seated, I bumped into....Rosa.
Great another Emily.
"Hey, I couldn't help but notice that you are looking a bit.....sorrowful today."
"Yeah I'm not doing this with you" I went around her.

What's with her and Leo anyway?

I grabbed a sit and waited for Falcon to bring my lunch for me.
Ever since my first day, he made it a tradition to fetch my food for me.
I wonder, if Leo and I were to ever start dating, would Falcon and I still be this close.

Would he get jealous when I spent time with Falcon from time to time? If he would then dating is ridiculous.
I think I kind of get it though, I would be very jealous if I saw Leo with another girl.

Speaking of jealousy, suddenly it filled my body from head to toe.
Rosa was there, with Leo, her hands all over him like she owns him. As if.
I don't even care, why should I?
We not even dating and I just remembered that I had plans with my best friend from my previous neighborhood, Lara.

Well I didn't, which reminds me.
I picked my phone up and texted her.

Hey muffin, cancel all your plans for this afternoon. I'm coming over!

She took a while to respond but eventually she did.

Done!

I could not wait to see her and I really missed her. We had a lot to catch up on.
And what about Leo?....watever, he's busy anyway.