Toxic Mistress

27

Night before the wedding

"I'm just glad the dresses aren't ugly"
"You really think I would pick ugly dresses Asia?" She shrugged "I don't know what it is about brides but the bridesmaid dresses be so damn ugly around" I laughed cause due wasn't wrong "I'm just surprised you guys are my bridesmaids"
"Who you telling?" Clarissa said as she sat down on the couch.

When Chris and I got closer he practically begged me to make up with my sisters and I finally gave in.

So we talked and they apologized about everything and after letting them know that money could never be in the equation for us they understood and we left everything in the past. I wouldn't say we were braiding each other's hair and telling each other our secrets or anything but they were my sister and I definitely had love for them, enough love to have them in my wedding and needless to say my mom was very happy about this and I guess I was to because if we didn't make up then I wouldn't have anyone standing with me as I married Chris.

"So sis how does it feel to be getting married tomorrow?" Asia asked and I shrugged sipping my wine "Kinda scary.... I mean I love Chris but I can't help but to think about if karmas gonna get me for sleeping with other peoples husbands"
"Girl this man stood beside you even after he knew you were sleeping with married men, ain't no way he'd do that to you" and she might have been right but I still worried about it and I knew that was my own fault.

There was a knocked at the door and I seen Asia smirk "Hold on" she left and got the door and I didn't think anything of it until Clarissa got up and pulled a whole bunch of 1's out her purse "Oh my god" I laughed as the female stripper with the big ass came around the corner.

Music started and she started twerking and dancing on me

I shouldn't have put this past my sisters but I was just glad they got a female stripper instead of a male stripper cause I really didn't want dick and balls swinging in my face.

She danced for about an hour then took some shots with us before leaving and that was definitely a distraction from everything that was running through my head but of course that was ruined with a text.

"Um I'll be back"
"Awe come on, we were gonna take shots" Clarissa said and I laughed "I'll be back I promise okay" I put my shoes on and grabbed my keys before leaving out my sisters apartment and getting in my car.

A mistake.

I knew it was a mistake but still I drove somewhere I shouldn't have.

When I finally got to my destination he was waiting for me....

So I got out....

"James" I sighed, I haven't seen or talked to him since I left him standing there in his house "Babygirl" I shook my head "Don't call me that" there was a reason I hadn't seen him since, because I knew that if I didn't then I would have never given Chris a fair chance. I almost felt all my feelings come back just by looking at him but I had to be strong because I knew Chris was the right decision.
I love him

"You look beautiful" I sighed crossing my arms "Why am I here James?"
"Because I need you to listen to what I have to say" Rolling my eyes I felt like there wasn't anything left to say "I've said all I've had to say"
"That's why I said listen Nicole" I rolled my eyes and against my better judgment...listened.

"The last few months have been hell for me baby, to not be able to talk to you or touch you....
I love you so much Nic, and I can't let you marry that nigga" I scoffed "Let me? You aren't letting me do anything I left you"
"And I understand why okay, I fucked up Nicole" I was a little taken back by that, there was only 2 occasions where I've actually heard him take accountability and be sincere about it. "From when we first met to the day you left I never treated you or made you feel like what you were to me....You were...are everything to me. I know I went about it in the wrong way but I've spent the last few months mentally getting myself together because I knew that was the only way I could convince you" I looked at him confused "convince me to do what?"
"Marry me"
He pulled out a box, the same box he held when he proposed to me the first time.

"James" I sighed putting my head in my hands but he stepped closer to me and grabbed my hand bringing me a little closer to him "This is suppose to be us Nicole, having wedding and getting married. I want you to be my wife, I want to buy a house with you, and have kids with you....I love you and you know that" he pulled me closer to him so that my chest was touching his placing his hand on my cheek and I couldn't help but to lean into his touch missing it.

He leaned down and I closed my eyes as he kissed my lips, lips I haven't felt in what felt like forever.

What am I doing?

What am I doing?!

I quickly backed away out of his grasp "What do you except me to do James? Run away with you and don't go to my wedding tomorrow?" He nodded and I shook my head "look....I love you and that will probably never change but that's why I can't marry you" he looked at me confused "I love you so much James that I will put you before myself every time , no matter what... and no matter what you do I know my love for you will never change and that's why we can't be together cause it's not healthy. Yes you may have changed but I don't know and I'm not sure I wanna take that risk" I stepped up to him and wrapped my arms around him tightly.

He hugged me back and I could feel myself on the verge of tears because walking away the first time was already hard but somehow this felt worse.

I quickly turned around and made my way to my car but before I could open the door I heard him say
"I love you Nicole and if you marry him tomorrow then you'll never have to hear from me again but if you decide that you don't want to then.....
I'll be outside your wedding waiting for you"

I just shook my head and jumped in my car before driving off quickly...
I still love him