going through the journal entry
of my first day of college three years ago
i feel like a father watching his child babble
trying to learn to walk with his mouth.
to trace the cloud of distances that formed
would be to draw a river with water
ask a knife to cut itself, or to project
my inabilities and unwillingness on the screen
of the world and then pretend
the blamable light emanates only from the world.
but a thoughtless spurt of words
less like conversation more like
a boil bursting, makes me wonder if
their shallow care deserves the depth of my guilt.
~ ajay
23/6/2022
