if life is what i think it is
then i've already failed at it.
so it's a good thing that it isn't.
good thing that even though i think i'll never love
i might end up loving so deeply it'll be breathless.
that even though i think i'll never be good with people
someone will hold on to something i once said
pressed in their prarthanas of being human.
even though i think i'll never feel a part of a family
i might end up gathering the last words of everyone i know
and they'd all say, we don't need heaven because we had you.
and even though i think i'll kill myself before i turn forty
i might become immortal at the end of this century.
good thing that even though i think i'll be forgotten like a cloud
i might end up raining on a memory of a drought
because life isn't what is written or what you will write
but a page on which we smear ourselves
and then call it a night.
~ ajay
17/10/2022
