A Little Too Soon for Goodbye

1 -Appointment

(A/N: there are mentions of Suicide in this story, but not until the chapter called "Hallucinations". This story is sad. It has sickness, and a few hard topics.

Hope you enjoy reading it.)

Dear diary,

   Today the appointment was the worst one yet. They told me something I thought I'd never hear. I'm not going to get better. Even after battling this sickness for almost a year, living in the hospital for three months, several surgeries, treatment after treatment of chemo, and hiding it from absolutely everyone except my parents, it didn't work. I'm going to die.

And they said that I only have 6 months left.   

I never expected things to turn out like this. Ever. My life was supposed to move on. Not end in a short 18 years. I'm supposed to graduate this year. I want to have the opportunity to go to college, mess up in life, get married, have kids.

Not get cancer at the age of 17, and have the life I wanted vanish right in front of me.

How unfair is this?

16 hours earlier

6:03 am

"I'm heading to the hospital!" I yell, walking out of the bakery. My mom shouts back, "Love you! See you at lunch!" I always have the appointments early in the morning, so I don't start feeling the side effects until around lunch time, and I usually miss a day of school. I feel sicker for longer than that, but my parents can't know. It will make them worry more than they have to.

I walk the few blocks it takes to get there, and head into the hospital. I wave at Janice, the kind receptionist that has always been here during my appointments, and walk down the hall. I go into my usual room, and wait. Like how I do every week.

I am really sick. I know that. I have stage 2 metastatic melanoma. At least the last time it was checked. They check every month. It has always been at stage two. For the past year I have been living with cancer. Not dying from it.

A few minutes later the nurse -Tikki- comes in. She is a short, smart, kind woman whom has become my gossip buddy this past year. She has pale skin, and long fiery red hair, along with dark blue eyes. Almost the same color as mine, but darker. Midnight blue.

Her presence always calms me, and she says, "good morning Marinette. How has your week been?" "Okay. Nothing has really changed. In two weeks it'll be my one year anniversary of knowing you and Plagg." "I'm so sorry that you have had to know him that long." I laugh, and shrug. "I love him a little less than I love you."

"Oh I know you do. He's a good man. And a good husband. Don't ever tell him I said that though." I laugh, and she smiles at me. "Okay, we need to get new scans, so change into your gown," she hands me a gown as she is saying this, "and let me know when you're done!" She pipes out, closing the door. "You know, you're too awake for this early in the morning! What time did you get in today?" I ask, yelling as I change. "Woke up at 3:00 and was here by 4:00! Went to bed at 6:30 though. The wonderous life of a nurse!" I laugh, and she comes back in when I say I'm done changing. "Honey, the wig has to come off too." She says, and I sigh, pulling off the long black wig and exposing my bald head.

"How's my favorite patient?" Plagg says, walking into the room while pushing in a wheel chair. "Oh you say that to everyone." I laugh, and he shakes his head no. "Nope I don't. I make everyone else call me Dr. Charm. You are the only one that calls me Plagg." "Tikki?" I ask, turning to her. "He isn't lying. He also isn't usually this happy around his other patients. He stays grumpy with them." I laugh, and look towards him.

He is tall. Probably around 6'4", and lanky. He has dark bronze colored skin, and jet black hair that is never tamed. He also has these crazy green eyes, and an actually funny sense of humor.

"All right. Hop in the chair. I need to wheel you down to the MRI machine, get you a CT scan, and a C.A.T. scan. Sound good to you?" I look at him, plopping down in the chair, and say, "Like I have a choice. Do I also have to get blood work done? And chemo?" "Yup to the first one, nope to the second." He responds, popping the two p's.

About an hour later, I am done with all of the scans, and put back into my room. I change back into my pink tennis skirt, and tuck in my white long sleeved shirt. I also put my shoes on, being plain white flats. I decided to wear a matching pink head band, and put that on too, over the wig. "Tikki, you can come back in!" I holler, and she comes back in with the package that holds what she needs to take my blood. I roll up my sleeve and look away as she pokes me with a needle, filling the small containers with my blood.

"So, has anything else happened with you and that boy?" I sigh and shake my head no to her question, and say, "I get too flustered around him. I try to talk to him, but it just comes out in a jumbled mess. I don't even know what I should say to him. Like I can't just go up to him and be like, 'Hey Mr. Hot Stuff I really like you. Like a lot a lot. Maybe even be in love. I have our entire future planned out too. Just wanted to le-'" But I get cut off when Plagg comes into the room, holding a giant folder, and saying, "Sorry Mari. I need to borrow Tikki for a second. Is that okay?"

I can tell that something is wrong, and I nod. "Go ahead." She stands up, going over to her spouse, and they walk out of the room, closing the door. I wait as they talk, and watch them through the window that is connected to my room. I can't hear what they are saying, but Plagg hands her the folder and she takes the scan out, holding it up to the light and out of my view from the window.

I watch as she turns back around, putting the scan back into the folder, and begins to cry. Plagg hugs her tightly as the woman cries. I see as he also tears up a little, and glances over at me. In that moment I completely understand everything, and shake my head no, tears filling my eyes too. Something changed. Something bad. But, he needs to tell me how bad.

A few minutes later the pair comes in, and Tikki comes and sits next to me on the bed, wrapping her arm around me and laying her head on my shoulder. I know that she can get in trouble for being this unprofessional with me, but something must be really wrong for her to break the rules. "How bad is it?" I ask, trying to keep my voice steady.

"I-I-I..." He starts, but has to stop as a few tears roll down his face. "It's pretty bad. Somehow over the past month the mets have spread. You went from a stage two to a stage four in that short month. The chemo isn't working anymore Marinette. I am so so so sorry." I feel as my throat gets tight, and I ask, "Will more chemo treatments help?" "With how advanced it is, I'd say no."

"S-s-so what now? Am I going to get better?" I ask, feeling as the hope of a life drains out of me. "There is nothing else we can do." He says, his voice breaking several times in those few words. I take in a deep breath, and whisper, "How long do I have left?" "A-a-at most, honey, probably 6 months." Tikki pitches in, and I have to hold in the sobs that want to escape me. "I don't want to die." I whisper, and feel as a single tear escapes my eye and watch as Plagg begins to cry.

I stand up, and walk over to him, giving him a tight hug. With him being so much taller than me, I only reach to about his chest, and he has at least a foot and a few inches on me. Tikki comes over and wraps her arms around both of us, and I let myself cry for a few seconds into the doctor's shirt. Into my friend's shirt.

I pull away after a few minutes, and say, "I-I-I have to go. School is starting in less than an hour and it takes about 20 minutes to walk from here. N-next week we can talk more about this. Is that okay?" They both nod, staying quiet. "This is probably against the rules, Mari, but I do love you. Like a daughter. You don't deserve this. I am so sorry." Tikki says, and I give her another hug. I grab my bag and walk out of the room, saying, "I love you too. Both of you."