A Little Too Soon for Goodbye

14 -Okay

A few weeks later I am in the hospital, and Adrien stands next to me. His hand is holding onto mine, gently rubbing his thumb against the back of my hand.

We quietly talk, and soon Tikki and Plagg come back in. "Hey Marinette." Plagg says, smiling at me. "How much worse is she?" Adrien asks, and I look up at him, giving him a small smile. He genuinely cares.

"She isn't much worse, but enough. There are more mets, but luckily they haven't spread to anywhere besides your digestive system. There aren't anymore in your brain, but soon there are going to be some. Soon, when you do get a lot worse, you're going to need a feeding tube, but for now you are as okay as you can be."

Adrien gives me a smile, and I smile back. It isn't particularly good news, but it isn't as bad as I thought it would be. "Marinette," Plagg starts again, and I look at him.

"Yeah?" "We want to try a different type of chemotherapy, and do more radiation. This type of chemo is more harsh, and takes a lot out of a person, but it has shown to help with people in similar situations."

I stare at him wide eyed, but inside my mind and body are at war with each other. The idea of having a more harsh type of chemo is already exhausting, but also the idea of having a life that might be farther in the future then 4 months from now? It seems amazing.

Yet I feel something dangerous; I feel hope.

I can't allow that. It will break me if it doesn't work. But I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if I didn't try.

"Okay." I whisper, and Plagg gives me a huge smile. I give him a small smile back, and I look over at Adrien. He is bouncing with excitement, and his smile is bigger than I've ever seen it.

He gives me a big hug, holding tight. I let out a breathless laugh, and he lets out an excited one. He pulls back, smiling at me, and says, "there's hope."

I nod, and he pulls me into another hug. I look over at Tikki and she has a small smile on her face. I try to give her one back, but I can't manage it.

"Alright boys. Get out. She needs to change and I want to talk to her about something."

Adrien pulls back and smiles, giving me a kiss on the forehead, and squeezing my hand before he walks out of the room with Plagg, a giant smile on his face.

I begin to change out of the hospital gown, and Tikki busies herself with my chart. "You don't seem that excited."

I pull up my pants and look at her. "I am, but... Tikki I'm so tired. I am so tired. My body is already beginning to die, and chemo and radiation are hard. I don't know how I can get through another round of chemo, and this one being harsher? It's awful."

She smile at me as I finish getting dressed, and she comes over and gives me a hug. "You're strong. I know you can get through this. And if it's too hard then we can stop. There is no shame in refusing treatment."

I give her a sad smile, and say, "there is. You saw how happy Adrien is at the possibility of me getting better. I can't give up. It would hurt him too much."

"Marinette," Tikki whispers, awe laced in with her tone. "You are such a wonderful person, but it's okay to be selfish. You have been through so much, and I understand that you are tired. Anyone would be. Don't let anyone else influence you. If you don't want to do this, then don't. It's okay."

I wipe my eyes, not wanting the tears to show, and smile at her. "I have to at least try." I whisper, and she smiles back. "Okay."

She pulls me into a hug, and I sob into her. A minute later Plagg and Adrien walk back in, and I'm still crying. Adrien looks at me, concern all over his face, and he rushes over.

"What happened? Is everything alright? What's wrong?"

His hands are on my cheeks, wiping away the tears, but I force myself to laugh. "Everything is perfect. These are happy tears." I lie to him, and I feel a twinge of guilt. He smiles back at me, and pulls me into a hug, placing a kiss on the top of my head.

"You're going to get better. Everything will be okay."

I stay quiet holding him close to me, but I know that when this moment ends, my life will be Hell.

———

Sorry for such a short chapter! This one was just a filler. Next chapter will be out soon!