A Little Too Soon for Goodbye

23 -Him

I walk around the park by my house by myself, enjoying the chilled weather. I realized that in a few weeks I'll probably have to check into the hospital, so I've been spending as much time as I can the past couple of days going around the city.

I sit down on a park bench, out of breath, taking a deep breath through the tubes under my nose. I see Andre the ice cream man across the park, and I long for the taste of his dessert. I took it for granted. I took everything for granted.

I sigh and look around, and suddenly my eyes find him. My breathing stops all together, and I watch as the camera man goes crazy. He clicks and clicks and clicks the button on the camera, and Adrien continues to pose for the photo shoot.

His hair is perfect like always, and even from here his eyes are a shocking emerald green. The clothes that he is wearing is for the Gabriel spring collection, so he's obviously freezing.

Suddenly, his eyes land on me, and the smile drops from his face. I and locked in this moment, and have to bite back a sob. The clicking continues, but I can tell Adrien has lost focus. He's staring at me.

But then he blinks.

I am instantly out of the trance I was in, and quickly stand up, grabbing my bag, and turn towards my house. I make a beeline for it, and hate how I have to wait at the crosswalk for the cars. I get across and go inside. Right before I'm able to go upstairs, the door to the bakery opens, and I make the mistake of turning.

It's him.

"Marinette." He softly whispers, almost star struck.

"The bakery is closed right now, Adrien. Come back another time." I respond, slowly beginning to make my way up the stairs. He's directly behind me, and I can't help but feel annoyed.

I get to the first landing on the stairs, and have to take a second to breathe. Only three more.

"You need to go to the hospital, Marinette."

I turn to him, shooting daggers out of my eyes at him. "You don't get to tell me that. You left, you decided you didn't care. Do you know how many times I went over to your house and no one let me in? No more Adrien. You decided it was too much and left. I don't blame you, I just don't understand why you want to come back now."

"Do you love me?" He asks, and I finally catch my breath. I turn to him, tears forming in my eyes.

"Yes." I say, beginning to make my way up the stairs again. I have to stop again, and put my hands on my knees so I can try to breathe.

"You need to go to the hospital, Marinette."

"No." I pant the word out, and force myself to move again. I get halfway up this flight, and air is suddenly gone. I sit down, wheezing. I turn the air up on my machine, and wait. The air eventually returns, and I curse under my breath.

"Why did you leave?" I ask, looking up at him.

"I got scared and was mad at you." He says, sitting down next to me. We are silent for a minute, just sitting in each other's company. I eventually look over at him, and he looks at me.

"You have a photoshoot to get to. I don't want you to get in trouble. We'll talk later?" I ask, and he nods. He stands up, then offers me his hand. He helps me up the rest of the stairs, and into the apartment.

"See you later, Marinette." He says, turning around and closing the door.

—————

I finish packing up and organizing most of my stuff when there is a knock on my trap door. "Come in," I call, sitting down on my chaise.

Adrien's head pokes through the door, and he smiles at me. He comes into the room, and closes the trap door.

He sits down next to me, and I look at my feet. The air between us is tense and awkward, and I've never felt so uncomfortable around him before.

"Your room is different." He finally says, and I glance around. The walls are bare, all of the clutter is packed into boxes or thrown away, and the pictures have been turned into photo albums.

"I don't want my parents to have to deal with it when I'm gone. I've labeled each box with a different persons' name and I want them to have that stuff. My parents have the most, obviously, and they can open them or not. I don't really care. There's also a couple of boxes for Alya and you, but most people only have one. I've also written letters to everyone as a sort of goodbye. I'm also giving you my journal."

"Your journal? Why?" He asks, and we look at each other.

I slightly laugh, and say, "some of it is random doodles or thoughts. A lot of it is me talking about how in love I am with you, and my journey over this past year and a half. It gets darker when I found out about the six month thing, but nothing horrible. I just want you to know me the most."

There's a pause for a second, and I move on to a different subject. "I want you to know that I understand why you're mad. You have every right to be. I can see how it seems like I'm giving up. I promise I'm not. I just don't think the new treatment would work. I honestly think that it would take away what little time I have left."

He sighs, and looks over at me. "Okay." He says, and I smile at him. He gives me a hug, and says, "you need to go to the hospital though."

"No." I say back, holding him even tighter.