Poetry of life, Heal yourself ✔

Myself and herself

Lacking of trust on herself
Was the problem.
She knew the problem
She tried to overcome it,
But some reasons, the problems
Were still unknown.

She knew that she's only
Concentrating on the negatives.
Sometimes, she tried hard as much as she could
To overcome, to win over her problems
To win over
Her own negative thoughts.

Sometimes, Succeeded
Sometimes, stopped at the middle
Sometimes, left the entire thing.
Sometimes, continued after undiscovered issues.
Her thoughts were unorganized,
Messed up

Some happy moments twisted together
With the fading memories.
The way she believed everyone
Made her blind,
Made other people to take advantage
Of her disadvantage
Which actually she thought
As a pure one.

The way her eyes still had a
Pleading hope, made me tear up.
The way she tries to cheer others
By comforting them
By clowning herself
By gestures like holding hands.

The way she thought
That people are like her,
The way she thought
That people need love and care at every
Broken state,
Got crumpled again and again
When her love got betrayed
When her care got mixed with the
Invisible thin air.

Still, the crumpled thought
Again rise up
Still, the betrayed love
Again transform into a pure one
Still, the Invisible care,
Again get its color,

When she expressed her true feelings
That how much she wanted
To console everyone
And understand everyone
Whenever they need her.

Sometimes, she thought
Whether she's not doing her work properly.
Such a workaholic, isn't she?
She always tries her best,
Sometimes, her concentration get distracted
Through some sort of things
That she never opened up.

Still...How people easily judge her?
Was it a fault to laugh your heart out?
Was it a fault to believe others?
Was it a fault to fall in love?

She's self centered, some said.
Why? I dont know.
Was it a fault to be an emotional one?
Questions filled her mind,
Made her to go weak on her knees.

She was mature as much as she could,
When she was with elders
She was childish as much as she could
When she was with her friends.
She balanced two attitudes as much as she could
When she was with both type of people.

People still judge,
Maybe she was surrounded by them,
Maybe she was focusing on negatives too much.
Still, she wanted a person
To discuss these things
Atleast, she wanted enough time
To ignore these thoughts.
She had zero option.

Maybe she didn't discover? they asked.
Shit, how much can she search for it?
Can't they help who asked her these questions?

How much she believed
That people are very kind like in the
English textbooks of hers.

How much she was happy
when she was child,
Had responsibilities, had zero concentration
On problems.
How much she wanted
To bring out her oldself
To be a child once again,
To be a child with positive people.

The way she again and again
Gaze towards me with the
Doe eyes of her,
Made me to tear up again,
Made me to be with her all the time,
Made me to realize how much
We are same in characteristics...