Healing Fave

Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight

Aiden
I leaned down on my bed savouring the smoke that burned my lungs, enjoying the after taste of the weed.
Me eyes rolled to the back of my head in satisfaction. I welcomed the numbness that I felt.

  My drowsy eyes slowly raised to the ceiling, I ignored the unnerving Jab of emptiness that I felt, and closed my eyes. Swallowing back my tears, convincing my self that it didn't matter, it didn't matter if I was alone. 

I had myself. It was enough. Wasn't it? So why did I feel like I was being torn in two? Why did it hurt so much? I inhaled again. The smoke slightly burning my lungs, but I let it. Before exhaling it out slowly.
 
   My mind drifted away to the painful memory of Rebecca. I felt the tears sting my eyes again. I wanted to claw at my face, I hated this feeling of helplessness that wanted to suppress me.

  While my mum has whisked me away to the states. I had become more rebellious. Doing everything and anything that could hurt her, trigger, make her angry, anything for how to notice how broken I was, how much I wanted her to love me. I wanted her to see that I was scared broken boy desperately in need of her love and her affection.

  Something I was sure I had, before she married kunle, I scoffed, letting the raging contempt engulf me. Without shame, I could easily admit that I hated him.

  My step brother was no better because he literally did everything he could to hurt me. He obviously didn't approve of the idea of his father getting married to my mum.

He had once to referred to my mother as a pathetic gold digger, his brash slander of words had gotten him some broken ribs and a bursted lip from me, it didn't end well.

  My mum had still lashed at me even though I had pounced on Sam at her defense. It was almost unbelievable how she   let me take the heavy blow of her excruciating spew of words that led into an agonizing exchange of words and that landed me in the states. Without her company, without her affection, without her. She left me to bask in the sickening despair of my loneliness.

But now I was back here, I needed her, I wanted my mother back. Even with how her careless words brutalized me and how she made it a life goal to always paint me the villain in every situation. I couldn't love her any less, I wanted to, my anger and my pain compelled me to but I couldn't do it, every part of me didn't want to because she was all that I had. She was the only family that I had left. I didn't consider kunle my family. He makes it his life mission to remind me how much of a failure that I was and how I couldn't amount to anything even if I wanted to. Sam.. well.. the motherfucker was painfully indifferent towards me, he acts as if I was dead.

  Not that I gave two fucks anyways. I looked down grudgingly at the dimmed blunt in my hands and huffed angrily.

  Of all the times to run out of weed, it had to be now. Debby would never let me hear the end of it.

  She was my drug dealer and she was clingy as fuck. Trust Debby to try and lure me to bed after supplying me weed.

  Even after I had rudely let her down one hundred and one times and tried to remind her not to let our one time thing spring up hopes that we would eventually end up together .

  She was annoyingly persistent and unbearably clingy. It irritated the hell out of me. If there was anything I hated, it was habouring hopes, especially mine. I just wanted to be left alone, suffocate In my smoke and the aftertaste of alcohol and sulk in my misery.

Reluctantly I picked up my phone and dialled her. Trust Debby to pick at the first thing. I rolled my eyes.
" Baby" she drawled in delight and I scoffed my irritation not bothering if she heard me.

" You know the reason I'm calling you" I retorted. I really wasn't in the mood for her meaningless banter.
" Aww babe, I missed you too, I was wondering when you would call me" she cooed over the phone and I cringed rubbing my palm over my fore head, trying to ward off my incoming fustration.
" I'm really not in the mood for all this Deb's" I growled.

" Well i am, I am the one with what you want after all so you'd have to humour me a little" sarcasm painfully seeped into her tone followed by a long minute of me trying to ease my angry nerves.

" When and where can I get it?" I said again.
" I could come to you. It would just be like old times" she said again, I could hear the mischievous suggestion in her tone. I huffed.

" Old times meaning you want to stuff me till I'm so high that I'm knocked out, so that you could have me in your bed again, not happening. You supply me and I pay. Give me a price and give me a location. I am really not in the mood to waste my productive time" I snapped.

" Ouch baby, you wound me, here you are in pathetic denial of how much of a good time I gave you. Admit it Aiden. You wanted it just as much as I did. Why you stupidly try to justify it is way beyond me" she drawled and I was overcome with the urge to break something.

  I raised my eyes to the ceiling, my fists painfully clenching. If there was anything I hated, it was staying sober. Staying sober reminded me of how miserable I was. I needed the weed. I needed it!!!!

" What do you want?" I growled.
" You know what I want Aiden. You. I have what you want as well. It's up to you decide." I paused for a long minute, closing my eyes, feeling myself slowly giving in. I was desperate.

"Be here in ten" I cut the call without waiting for her response. Feeling my helplessness engulf me once more. Knowing that I was enslaved by my pain and my anguish.

Another update. Sorry I took long to update. Was having writer's block but it's ok now.pls vote comment and tell me what you think. Bye loves❤️