The Changes In Our Moments

•chapter 24•

I keep my head buried in his shoulder, everything about me numb and uncontrollably unstable.
I pull my head out, and I fight the urge to not look in his eyes, but I do.
"I got your sweatshirt all wet." I say, making a sad face.
He shakes it off, "it's okay. I'd rather have that than anything else that has happened today."
I look down, the water in my eyes making it impossible to see clearly. He nudges my arm and lifts up my chin with 3 fingers, flashing his dimples at me. This man I fell for is something, I admire the way his eyes light up everytime he comes up with an idea or anytime he smiles, how his laugh could bring in millions of gorgeous swans. His hair is just the right amount of smooth and soft, formed into one.
I lean into his muscular shoulder sighing rapidly as if I'm out of breath just from thinking.
He stands up doing the same as he laces our fingers into each other
I look at him, "what are you doing?"
He straightens his lips and begins to speak, "we are going back towards Giavanna."
I shake my head, "no! no! I'm not ready." I scream at him. I drop my voice to a whisper and begin letting the tears flow as I move my mouth into an awakened position to get the words out, "I can't go over there yet. I- I hurt her. my best friend."
He nods and pulls me along anyways, "it is okay, you need to apologize." he fights the urge to drag me or most likely release me.
I nod and head towards Giavanna, hiding behind Andrew, very coward like.
When I turn the corner, looking at not only blood but bruises, throbbing red spots, blue and black spots, swollen areas, and millions of more harmed areas.
I cover my mouth in shock at how vicious and repulsive I am, my eyes water with not only hatred to myself but fear of what I am.
I look at my best friend in pain because of me, and I run over grabbing the ice pack and my comfort and help my best friend as much as possible.
I lean over, grabbing her hands in mine "I'm pathetic, I hurt my best friend for what reason? a stupid one obviously. I can't forgive myself and I don't expect your forgiveness any time soon or ever. I just need you to know that no apology in the world, or any thing at all can make up for how dumb and reckless and extremely sorry I am." I flush my face into a white pale ghost like figure and stand up to lay my body down against the brick wall behind me.
Giavanna looks at me, as much as a hurt person can, and she smiles."now that my friend, was an overthought apology. who did you talk to George Washington or something?"
I laugh at that, with her doing the same. it's been a while since I have done that. I miss it.
I lay my head on what seems to be the only undamaged part of my best friend; her shoulder.
"what are we going to do?" I question her
she shakes her head, "im sure anymore."
I nod, pursing my lips." me either."

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Hey guys!
has it been a while or what?!

I feel so bad for being so neglecting towards all of you, how horrible huh?

no apology can make up and this short chapter is just the beginning of mine. my life is crazy at the moment so hang in there for me? once summer comes by expect this book to be finished by June, July idk depends haha.

anyways xoxo
BYEEE