Arcane (Regulus Black)

twelve

He nodded and instantly left. After a couple of minutes, I left too. I walked back to the Gryffindor common room. It was all tidy and empty too. I guessed everybody went to sleep. There was no afterparty then. I saw someone pacing back and forth. Sirius. I tried to paced forwards towards the girls dormitory but he stopped me.

"Lizzy there you are"

"Here I am" I chuckled as I pushed my hair behind my ears.

"I didn't see you at today's party" he asked.

"Yeah, I don't really go to them anymore" I shrugged, "not really my cup of tea anymore"

Silence filled the room. Just when I was about to excuse myself. He spoke.

"I heard everything" he blurted.

I froze as a confused perplexing grew on my face. "What?" I asked, confused.

HE stepped towards me and grabbed my hands, "at James, during Christmas. When you spoke to me, I heard everything." he placed his hand on the right side of my face, "it wasn't your fault Lizzy" he whispered as he stroked my cheek. I felt the resisting urge to throw my face in his. It's not pathetic.. I want you too. the way rain wants to fall, the way the sun wants to shine, the way words want to be read. I want you to infinity, to the millionth degree, no amount of rain could douse the fire I had in me for you. I wanted to feel nothing, after my mother, truthfully I felt as if I did not deserve anything. I left regulus, like a coward. But whenever, I see you and the way you look at me, I get this rush that's just unexplainable. As if I feel everything at once. A voice telling me everything is going to be alright."

I smiled.

"Loving you is like being ten years old again, scaling a tree with my eyes bright and skyward, wanting only to get higher and higher, without a thought of how I would get back down. The truth is I do. I always have. I've just never done something like this, felt anything like this before. I did not know what it meant. Yes I sit next to you at night in the darkness and point out the stars and feel your heartbeat and have to fight to ignore the urge to kiss you and never let you out of my sight again. Yes, I listen to your laugh and see artwork in the notes you create with your voice, and wonder how it was I thought you weren't the most important thing in the world to me. Yes, I drink to forget that it took just one moment for me to rip you into pieces and leave you behind, and that now you're all right without me again. But most importantly- yes, I collapse at the thought that I could possibly have mistaken someone else for my love when you were right there in front of me all the time.

"Sirius" I whisper and lean forwards towards him. He stared at me as his hand gently caressed my face.

"Tell me Lizzy has anyone ever kissed you?"

"Of course they have" I watched Sirius clench his jaw then unclench it.

"Did it mean anything?"

I shook my head.

"So you've never had a meaningful first kiss?"

I thought back to my first kiss. Then again did that even count as my first kiss? Funnily enough, it was back when we were kids. Regulus and I promised to be each other's first kiss so that our first kiss would always share a meaning. The first kiss is supposed to be very meaningful. It's the first time someone truly cares for you, shows their actions.

He leaned forward. I took a deep breath. The second his lips touched mine, he grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me forward, pressing my lips hard against his. It was amazing. Even more so when I began kissing him back, opening my lips and allowing him to slide his tongue inside. It was all at once startling, incredible, and familiar. I couldn't think – as if every transmitter in my brain had short circuited at once, fizzing and popping; sending off sparks."

We pulled apart but he kept his forebears rested on mine. "if two people can't stay away from each other, maybe they aren't meant to be apart" be whispered. I smiled as he caressed my face.

"What do you say Lizzy? Should we do this?" He asked and I nodded. "Let's do this properly" he removed his hand from my cheek and kissed my hand before he left and walked over towards his dormitory. "6pm tomorrow"

—

The next day, When I entered the classroom, all desks were on the side made into benches for us to sit, boys on one side and girls on the other. I saw Taylor and sat beside her. Just then the sixth year walked in to and sat down. I heard James and Sirius make stupid noises as they walked in, hitting and slapping each other like stupid idiots. Sirius saw me and smiled, nodding his head. I bit my lip to stop smiling and to control the sudden wave of nausea I felt, butterflies locked in a cage.

Once everyone had settled down, Professor McGonagall came forward and announced a new tradition, a summer ball. The crowd whispered, minutely because everybody knew of the current crisis in the wizarding world right now. Nonetheless, The girls squealed with delight and excitement while all the boys let out a groan and slouch further in their seat. Professor McGonagall ignored them and continued 'Dress robes will be worn, and the ball will start at eight o'clock at the end of this month, now today you will be practising the dance for the ball.' Straight away, all the girls rose and made their way towards the boy they wished to waltz with.

After last night I thought Sirius would ask for my hand, at least I could see him staring at me waiting for me to come ask him. Then I saw Marlene grabbed his hand and dragged him onto the floor. Remus looked at me and simply shrugged. He stepped towards me and I smiled but then my smile dropped when somebody else clasped my hand. "What are you doing?" I asked through gritted teeth.

He ignored me. I asked him again. He ignored me. I sighed. I looked at Remus and just shook my head, as a sign that it was ok. "What are you doing Regulus? With everybody watching? Why?"

"I'm simply following the professors instructions." he paused and shrugged. "Remember when we used to do this as kids"

I smiled. "You were such a bad dancer. Always stepped on my toes"

"That was Sirius, not me" he snapped, teasingly.

When he looked at me like that, with his soft green emerald eyes I felt my entire body almost tense but at the same time melt all at once. "Why do you always look at me that way?" I asked him.

Truthfully, he had always looked at me that way and honestly I secretly loved it. A part of me always knew that regulus loved me for me, I would never have to change for him. That was until we got out in different houses; but even then he tried his best to hide it with disgust but I caught his secret glances.

He spun me around. "Like what?" his hand moved back to grasp my back as he unknowingly pushed me closer to him.

"You know, smiling like you always do" I replied "with that glare"

He stayed silent as we swayed together. I felt him grasp my waist to pull me closer to him. As if it was not suffocating enough. I thought Sirius would react but he didn't. From the corner of my eye. Brown clashed with grey, but this time, it was not a mere thunder shower. This felt more like a tornado, when the wind sluiced through the air so fast that you can barely walk, and the skies turned an ashen grey and filled with debris that was lifted into the air as if it weighed little more than a feather; and when the tunnel of wind touched the ground, it did so with so much destruction that the world as you knew it felt suddenly and unconditionally changed. I watched his gaze focused on Remus and lily, after lily had instantly rejected James.

"Tell me Elizabeth how can I look at you and not smile" he murmured. My breath faltered, as he raised his eyebrow Our faces were so close to each other, our noses passed by, The music ended and regulus bowed as Professor McGonagall announced for the end of this session. When he bowed his sleeve moved up and I saw a small mark on his arm. I paused as I thought back to Sirius and Christmas. Was regulus getting abused too?

Just as he turned, I called out his name but by then he was gone.