Was she worth it ? | YUNGI

lost in my head

Mingi Pov :

Dating her was easy Because then I could pretend .

I could pretend i didn't like him
I could pretend I didn't feel anything for him

but

Even then.. deep down I know what I feel
I know I'm lying to myself
I know but I can't
I can't have him

So I did what I do best
Lie to myself
And continue dating her

——————————————————————-

" mingiiiii yaaaa " I turn my head to see who was calling my name .

It's yunho

" heyyy yun" I say as he ruffled my air

I love this
I love this feeling
I miss this feeling
Happiness

"So... i missed you we should hang out today" yunho says as he continues to walk down the hallways with me .

" maybe a movie at my house ? "

honestly I do anything with yunho
As longs as it with him

Wait

" oh sorry yun I completely forgot... I have a date with dia today "

I completely forgot

Fuckkkkkkk

" oh... maybe next time ? " he says shyly

" Yea.. next time " I say smiling sadly

Next time yun
I'll drop everything and make plans with
You

" so.... you and dia"

" what about me and dia?? " I say nervously

" oh.. uh like how is she or like do you really like her or-"

" she's nice very nice she isn't very clingy And not really a jealous type I guess...She nice " I say cutting yunho off of his rambling

" dang you got yourself a good girl " he says laughing as he elbows me

" yea I do..."  I say looking down at the floor

If only he knew
It's not like she wasn't attractive
it's just that as time goes by I realized that
This relationship isn't making me happy

I lead her on
I know I lead her on

And

At some point I'm going to have to tell her .

I'm going to have to break up with her

But I can't

because then I'll be left with my thoughts

With questions about myself

That I myself don't want to acknowledge

—————————————————————-

....

" mingiii " dia says as she's looking down at her food tray picking at her food with a fork .

" yea "

"Umm"

She looks very nervous

" you seem to be hanging out with yunho a lot.....sometimes... it looks like..." she says nervously

" it's just that... you don't hang out with me and we're supposed to be dating you know plus don't you think it's a bit...weird that you don't let me hug you or even idk kiss you but... you let yunho hug you or you will hug him out of nowhere- "

" what are you trying to imply" I say bit too harshly

I look at her

" he's just my friend nothing more ok... We knowed each other for a lot time now that's...all"  I say looking down at my food

Is that even true ?

"Oh... I see... sorry "

" it's fine"

" but can you promise me something" she says looking at me

....

" if you like someone else..or if you fallen for someone else.. can you promise me you'll tell me... I don't want to be lead on and waste my time trying to save a relationship for someone not worth my time "

"Wha-"

"I'm not saying...that you have I'm just saying if you do..." she says a bit sadly

i-
I'm sorry
I wished I could just blurt it out
But I'm a coward
I can't
I'm sorry
I really am

" I.. promise"  I say

.....