Fee

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Yep I made another Fíli one instead of working at the others, but I write according to my mood and this just popped up in my mind, I'm so sorry. I'll start working at the others as soon as I can (or when I have the motivation to).

This gets a bit depressing and I'm sorry (again) (kinda), but ehh, enjoy!

----

Promise me you'll return.

Those were the last words you spoke to him, before he went off with his brother and his uncle, Thorin, on a journey to reclaim Erebor, your folk's rightful home.

He only smiled as a response, playfully replying, "I don't know, I probably won't. But I'm not supposed to return, successful or not. We're supposed to move in to Erebor, aren't we?"

With a friendly hug and a few parting words from him, he left. You kept on your cheerful mask for a while, until you were sure he is far enough.

No one knew you cried yourself to sleep throughout the week. No matter how many reassurances and soothing words your mother gave you, it was still a very dangerous journey. You knew the risk they were taking.

They were too young, still so very young.

You have been close friends with him since childhood. Your age was closer to Kíli's since you are 4 years younger than him, but you have always been drawn to him more. Maybe it's his more gentle demeanor and wiser way of thinking, compared to Kíli's reckless attitude.

Even though Dís is from a royal background, making her children the rightful heir to the throne and Fili the crown prince; she have always blended with the common folk so easily. That is how she is friends with your family, a commoner.

You can still remember the first day you met. You remember how your mother told Dís that you had a difficulty getting along with other dwarflings, because you were shy, way too shy and quiet compared to the others. You were scared to get out of your room when you saw Fíli and Kíli, since the last time you played with others you got yourself hurt and they blamed you instead of the young dwarf boy who hurt you.

But he was different. He was very gentle and patient with you. He made sure that you know he wasn't going to hurt you.

To both of your mothers' surprise, the three of you got along very well at the end of the day.

The brothers were like siblings you never had. They made you stronger, so much tougher than before; but not always in a good way. It's not rare that you went home with bruises and cuts, and you often got in trouble with the other young dwarves when you defended Kíli, since they used to make fun of him a lot. It's quite often that you ended up in a brawl, and even though you usually won, your parents were not pleased when they found out. Young dwarf ladies are not supposed to go out and get themselves into fights like that, they said.

Since that incident, Fíli grew very protective of you. You ended up being a lot closer to him than to his brother, even though the three of you grew up together.

At your coming of age, he even gave you a present. He was flustered, even a bit embarrassed of it; but his gift was more than anything you could ask. He told you that the month after he met you, he tried to craft a friendship bead all by himself, and the quality was just as good as a dwarfling could do.

But you treasured it, probably more than he did; and not a day passed since then without you wearing it in your braids.

You saw him as something more, much more than a friend; and you knew that he didn't. You're not a proper dwarf lady after all, you have never been; you can't cook, nor sew. Besides, no matter how close Dís might be to your family, you know your family is still a commoner, far below hers; even if you do like each other, there will never be a way for you to be together.

---

You sighed, your hands moving to touch the friendship beads on your braids, the only thing you have to remind you of him.

It has been a year since that day, and every day you prayed to Mahal for their safety. It doesn't even matter anymore whether their quest is successful or not, you just wanted to see him again. There's a certain loss you feel, an empty feeling in your chest; since the day he left. No matter how hard you try to carry on your everyday activites like usual, things are not the same.

A knock was heard on your bedroom door. You got up to see who it was, hopeful, and it turned out to be your mother, asking you to bring an array of clothes she had sewn for Dís to her house.

It feels like your heart leapt out your chest. You can probably ask if any of them has sent her letters; she would be the first person to know if anything has happened to them, after all.

And your steps got a little faster, your expression turned a little brighter, on the way to her house. Your heart thumped wildly against your chest, amd you were hopeful, very hopeful. Being kept for a year without letters or any way of knowing how he is is too much for anyone.

With your hands trembling, you knocked on the front door. You got a little worried when there was no reply. She has been pretty much alone without her two little boys for a year now, and she's getting frailer each day. But soon a click was heard and Dís peeked out from inside. Her expression changed when she saw you, and she quickly ushered you to come in.

"The clothes... my mother has finished making them," you smiled weakly at her, putting the bundles at the nearest table. She stayed silent. "Are there any news from the boys?"

"I have received letters from the Company. They will not return."

You can feel your heart dropping to the ground.

"That's good! That means they succeeded taking over Erebor?"

She started crying.

No.

Mahal, please no.

"Come here, Y/N," she sighed, tears were still welling on her eyes. You trembled when she handed out something to you.

Courting beads.

No. No. This is not happening...

"Fíli told me he will give you these when he returned, or when we move to Erebor; but he... he will not... Y/N, they didn't make it..." Dís said, her voice broke as sobs wracked her body.

You stood there, in silence, as you feel the world freeze around you.


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