One minute | Dong Sicheng

Seven

I was sat on the floor of the, unhygienic, boys bathroom. My eyes stung, my body was tired, and my heart hurt. It hurt so bad. 

Why couldn't I have my happiness? Why was I only allowed to watch others be happy, but not experience it myself. When would I be able to have the friends and loved ones, and finally be able to get away from the envy that constantly chases after me..

I couldn't stop the tears that ran out of my eyes, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't breathe. But, did I want to breathe?

Yes. I did.

I wasn't going to let my jealousy get the best of me. I closed my eyes and sat their for ten minutes, catching my breath and trying to think straight again.

With shaky legs, I went over to the sinks, splashing my face with water to get myself back to reality. I was tired, and I wanted to just go home. What really sent me back to reality, was the tap that I felt on my shoulder. 

Somebody was here. To comfort me? Maybe to get mad at me for making a scene in the exhibition. It was meant to be an open and friendly evening, just for people to enjoy the work that students had done, and I ruined it. But I would have to face the backlash eventually, so I turned around.

It wasn't a teacher. It was Minghao.

And it wasn't an angry Minghao. He was smiling, and looking directly at me.

He was smiling at me.

I looked down at his lips, not wanting to look at him in the eyes.

'Are you okay?'

Was I okay?

I had decided to be dishonest, and nod my head. But he didn't seem to believe me. His hand was still on my shoulder. He was talking, but I couldn't process what he said. 

I thought he would walk away, but he didn't. He stayed. And he was patient. 

Eventually, I felt able to explain what happened. I didn't dare to say it was him and his friend that upset me, so I changed it to just everybody in the room. I couldn't stop myself from just pouring out my feelings to him, about everything; how I had no friends, how alone I felt, how I wished I had what others had. 

Minghao didn't look away once. He smiled, and he listened.

'I could introduce you to somebody if you would like.'

I don't want to be a bother.

'You wouldn't, she's very friendly.'

I'm a nobody.

'If you were a nobody, I wouldn't be here with you. I wouldn't know who you were.'

'If you feel uncomfortable, you can leave straight away'

Okay.

I'll meet her, just this once.