Frerard - Much More Than Friends (Part 2 of the 'Just Friends' Series)

10

Frank reluctantly agreed that taking a hiatus from the band was in his best interests, and he finally believed Gerard that the other guys were simply worried about him and just wanted him to get some help. He hated being pitied, but he knew they were right. His life was unravelling, and it was honestly scaring him. To not care if death was around the corner waiting for you was very unhealthy, and he didn't want to feel that way any longer. He quietly nodded in agreement as Gerard had sat him down that night and told him he wasn't going anywhere, and that he would help him through this. He did feel guilty at Gerard taking leave from his own work to 'babysit' him, but he didn't realise that Gerard wanted that more than anything; just to be around Frank once again. Also, the fact that he wouldn't have to see Finn made the decision somewhat easier for him. He was owed quite a lot of time from work and he would use that to get Frank back on the right track. He owed it to him.

Frank felt calmer simply being in Gerard's presence, but he wasn't a fool to believe that everything would simply return to how it'd once been. He wanted that more than anything, but he wasn't ready to fully forgive him yet, although he agreed to work on their friendship at the very least. Gerard was more than happy with that. He just wanted Frank back in his life. Yes, he wanted them back together as a couple, but he completely understood that Frank needed time, and that getting him clean was the priority for now.

Gerard stayed over that first night (sleeping on the couch), and the following day the two got the apartment in some semblance of order. Frank's mind was busy enough to keep it off any craving he would have had if he'd simply been sat home alone. It was nice to have Gerard here cleaning and tidying again and he sent him a knowing smile occasionally as the two quietly went about their work. However, when they finally stopped for some lunch, an awkward silence fell between them.

"I am sorry Frank" Gerard quietly spoke.

"I know" Frank replied, equally as quiet. "And I get that I probably drove you to it. I can understand that you got fed up with me."

"No" Gerard reached over the table and placed his hand on top of Frank's. "I didn't Frank. I could never. It was just a moment of weakness after our argument."

Frank shrugged. "Yeah. But you still stayed with him. You didn't fight for me Gee."

"I........ Frank.......I"

"It's ok" Frank said interrupting Gerard's panicked reply, before standing and taking his plate over to the sink.

Gerard hated himself for not doing more to get Frank back. Yes, Frank had left town and was back on tour not long after, but he knew he could have contacted him if he'd have really tried. He had the phone numbers of all the other guys, and it wouldn't exactly have been hard for him to find out where they were playing. Yet he didn't do anything. Mikey had asked him over and over again to go and sort things out with Frank, but he had instead started spending more time with Finn, who he was taken in by with all his compliments and badmouthing about Frank, which resulted in him believing he was better off without him. At least he tried to convince himself of that. He knew deep down that he was, and always would be in love with Frank, but he'd tried to persuade himself that they were better off apart. He'd failed Frank and this was the result.

As it got darker, Gerard reluctantly said goodnight and headed back to Mikey's. It was better this way. It was still too raw for him to stay the night, even though he knew this was when Frank probably needed him the most. He always made sure he was settled for the night before leaving and was usually back before Frank had even woken in the morning. He was exhausted but he didn't want Frank to feel uncomfortable having him stay overnight. He had only stayed that first night, and the two had talked nearly all night anyway, so didn't get any sleep. He wanted Frank to catch up on some rest – he looked permanently tired and in need of his bed. He was fine for the first week. Gerard had thought he would struggle more than he had without his daily fix, but he hadn't. He had allowed him to have a couple of beers each night to take the edge off, feeling that if he deprived him of that as well it would be too much of a struggle. There were times when he was moody and Gerard cold tell he was craving the coke, but they got through it together.