Fast Forward to us

43: Daddy's Tombstone

Emma

For a couple of hours, I helped Marvin with the car. Much of that time was spent in the junkyard looking for random items. Of course, my mind was all over the place, and couldn't really focus on what was actually happening. Once we were back in the racecar, Marvin was playing around with the car and giving me various directions. Sure, I listened, but each direction went in one ear and out the other. If anything, it was nice ditching school for one day. Sometimes a girl gets tired of everything. When it grew closer to lunch, Marvin was ready for a break as it seemed that his body was growing weaker.

"We're definitely going to have this racecar ready before we know it," he claimed while sucking on a lollipop. "Fun fact. Did you know that Ford and Ferrari raced against each other over thirty years ago in France? It's quite an interesting story actually. The movie... I mean the book was really good."

Honesty, I didn't give a crap about Marvin's fun fact. It meant nothing to me. All I could do was just sit there and blankly look at what was in front of me.

"You miss him, don't you?" asked Marvin while placing his palm over my shoulder. Was he talking about Jeremy? "Your father? You miss him?" Oh, guess he was talking about my daddy.

"Yeah, more than anything. I'd give anything to have him back. Literally anything."

"Why don't we go visit him in the cemetery?"

The cemetery? The place where his memory was buried? I couldn't remember the last time I paid a visit. Every time I did visit him, the pain inside always grew worse. Each trip grew more unbearable. Of course, Marvin somehow convinced me to pay a visit. It was the last thing I wanted to do, but maybe it wasn't that bad of an idea. Maybe this was the perfect reason to ditch school today.

...

With Marvin's support, we stood right in front of my daddy's tombstone. Chills traveled down my spine and swallowing was almost impossible. There had been so much love for him over these last few years. Visitors couldn't resist leaving flowers and such. Everyone missed him.

"I don't know what to say?" I blurted. "What do I say?"

"Tell him how you feel right now," Marvin responded with great support. "Be honest with him."

Honesty? I was always honest with him when he was alive. He was always honest with me. He loved me. I loved him. It couldn't be that hard. Closing my eyes for about a minute, a deep breath was taken. I could do this. Slowly, my feet made their direct way to be right in front of the tomb. Placing my hand on the tomb, my heart skipped a beat. In fact, it skipped several beats. 

"Hey, daddy. It's been a while." A tear left my eye. "Um, I guess I'm about to graduate. Don't really have much going for me right now. And Jeremy doesn't really know what he's going to do after graduation. Right now, he's after this stupid girl. Her name's Hailey. Honestly, I'm starting to think that they both actually like each other. It sucks. I mean I can't have Jeremy and I know you were always excited for me because I had Jeremy as a friend. I feel like I somehow disappointed you. I disappointed myself."

Crap, was this true? I actually disappointed myself? How could I have let this happen? In this realization, my knees fell to the floor with my head leaning against the tomb while tears raced down my face.

"You know, I remember this one time I said yes to a date with Hector." With more tears, I couldn't help but laugh. "Jeremy helped me get out of the date. I learned how to be brave."

"Dude, if you don't say anything, you're going to end up on a date with Hector tonight," proclaimed Jeremy at lunch. "Is that what you want? Do you really want to go on a date with Hector?

"No. I don't," my voice claimed in quietness.

"You don't what? Speak up, Emma. I can't hear you. What don't you want to do?"

"I don't want to go on a date with Hector tonight!" My voice was louder this time. "And damn it, I hate Gushers! They taste like crap! They are literally the worst thing ever!"

"That's right! If you can be honest about Gushers, you can tell Hector the honest truth."

"But what do I tell him?" Something inside of me hoped that Jeremy would do the talking.

"Tell him the truth. Tell him you don't want to go on a date because you're not interested. And speaking of Hector, he's at the front of the line right now. This is your chance, Emma. You can do it."

Just as I suspected, Jeremy would not be at my side as I made my way up towards Hector. This would have to be something I do myself. My heart was speeding like crazy and all I wanted to do was find a trash can to throw up in. The closer I got to him, the wobblier my legs got. This was going to be hard. I was about to hurt the poor boy's feelings. And just like that, we stood right next to each other.

"Hector, I need to tell you something." The boy was all ears. About ten other people were also butting in. Taking a deep breath and making two fists, I spoke up. "Hector, I don't want to go on a date with you tonight." Did I actually say that? I did. Oh my gosh. An adrenaline rush took control. "You are literally the most annoying boy I ever met. Sometimes I want to smash my head with glass when I'm around you." Without a second thought, I zoomed out and made my way back to the table.

After all these years, I couldn't believe that I was able to say no to Hector. How did I do it? How was I able to be so brave like that? What was wrong with me now?

"I'm proud of you Mija," spoke my daddy who appeared in front of me out of nowhere. "You've grown up to be a fine young woman. I couldn't be prouder." He placed one hand on my shoulder and his other hand on my cheek and let out a fatherly smile.

Tears were rolling out of my eyes. All I could do was grab the hand that lay on my cheek. As I did so, my fingers trembled. More tears continued to roll down. Swallowing became difficult. "You're proud of me? What's there to be proud of?"

"What's there not to be proud of? You've worked so hard on your racecar and you'll almost be done with it. You've been a loyal friend to Jeremy all these years and now you're about to graduate after all your hard work. You are a fighter. As long I've known you, you always keep fighting. You're a lot like me."

"I can't fight anymore." My sight was on the ground. How could I look my own father in the eyes? "I just can't do it."

Getting ahold of my chin, he placed my sight back to him. "You can Mija. You can. And I'm always with you." He took a brief pause and breathed a breath of happiness. "I love you so much."

Both of us had tears dropping out which led to a nice long hug. Everything would be okay. Everything would be fine. Maybe he was right. Maybe I could keep fighting. Just like that, he had vanished leaving me to wonder if it was my imagination or if I had actually seen his ghost.

Was it real or was it a ghost? Thanks for everyone's support as Fast Forward hit 1K reads. Don't forget to comment and vote!

Should Emma feel proud of herself?

Can you believe that Emma had the courage to reject Hector?