skinny love || joe sugg

|14|

I locked myself in my room and cried. Why did I come back? I should have known. My phone went off telling me I've got a text.

Cel please can we talk? x

Joe

I didn't know what to do. I wanted to be with him but that girl. What if I'm not going to be good enough will he still need those girls? It just hurts to imagine him with other girls . But I wanted to give him the chance to explain.
20 mintes later joe came and we sat on my bed. "Ok. I want to be completely honest with you. That Girl meant absolutelly nothing to me. she's just one of a few. Since you left I did this plenty times. But I just couldn't stop thinking of you." I couldn't say anything. So he carried on. "Do you remember when I asked you if you'd believe in love at the first sight?"
That was one year ago and I still remember everything. I couldn't help but smile at these memories. I just nooded in response.
"I never felt like this before. I fell in love with you immediately. Your sense of humour, the way your eyes sparkle when you smile, the fact that you're actually laughing at my stupid jokes. Cel believe me I never had these feelings for another girl before. I'm not asking you to forgive me but please give me a second chance."
"Joe.." I started "This isn't even your fault it's all mine. If I wouldn't have left you wouldn't have done this. Well maybe you would have" Joe interrupted me "What the hell are you thinking of me? I'm not like that." I jumped a little bit as his reaction. He actually scared me. "Cel, I'm sorry I'm just so.. I've missed you so much and these girls distracted me. They made me feel wanted." "Oh come on you've got millions of fans who want you. And that's the problem, Joe we can't be together. Imagine them finding out you had a girlfriend. We're not like Zalfie. Nearly everyone ships them but have you seen the comments on our video? They're telling me I'm using you, and even that I'm a slut. That hurts, Joe." I wanted to seem strong but I couldn't hold back my tears anymore. Joe noticed hugged me from the side. I didn't like to admit it but I enjoyed and missed it so much. "I know you're not using me and you're not slut. Don't listen to them. I know how you really are and that's all that matters. Please give me a chance to proof that it was worth coming back."
"Ok" I simply replied. "But let's just be friends for now"
"Let's be friends, if that's what you want."
That wasn't what I wanted but nothing else would have worked.