It's Mutual

Chapter 17 - perfect

Harry's POV
     Louis' perfect. I know a human being can't exactly be perfect and no one wants to be anyways, but Louis' as close as you can get.

We've been in detention for 35 days now, I only know that because Ms. Horlyck called us in today to get an update on how things were going. And honestly, things are going pretty damn great. The only thing that sucks is that I only have 56 more days left with Louis in detention.

God, I never thought I'd say anything remotely close to that, but here I am. While we're on that topic of saying things I'd never thought I'd actually say, here comes another one:

I, HARRY EDWARD STYLES, AM ATTRACTED TO ONE LOUIS WILLIAM TOMLINSON.

Fuck, I don't even know how it happened. One day I hated Louis' guts, the next I liked him as a friend, and next thing I know I'm starting to question my whole fucking sexuality because of this boy.

I'll explain it though, after the 'event' that occurred in the shower I realized that when I would think about Louis in a certain way it would, like, turn me on. And then I realized that the fact that I'm even thinking about Louis in that "certain way" is proof enough that I find him attractive.

I've been thinking about it, and I don't really know what to classify my sexuality because I find girls and Louis attractive but no boys or anyone else. So, I decided to do what I always do when I have a question.

"Louis, how did you know you were gay?" I ask as we sit in the grass together, picking at flowers.

Louis glances over to me with questions in his eyes but I don't dare look at him. I'm too nervous and scared of what he'll say.

"Well, I noticed that all my mates were looking at the pretty girls in our classes while I was looking at all my mates and thinking they were pretty," he chuckles lightly at that, "I don't know, after that I just kind of knew."

"So you're only attracted to boys then?" I question.

"Definitely," Louis asserts, "I tried to find girls attractive when I hadn't come out yet, but I couldn't force those feelings, so I've never really been attracted to a girl," he explains.

I sigh and comb my hands through my hair, looking down at the grass. I notice Louis getting up from beside me but I don't look up at him, as I'm too busy in my own thoughts. But then, all of a sudden I feel Louis putting something on my head, before he proceeds to straddle my lap and sit back so we're not only looking at each other but very, very close together.

"What's wrong Haz?" he asks softly as he adjusts whatever's on my head.

My breathing has stopped, my heart is hammering out of my chest, and my face is flushed a brilliant pink, "I- um, like, uh," oh and to top it all off, my tongue's tied. Fucking great.

But I can't help myself. Louis is literally on top of me, looking at me with those beautiful blue eyes of his, and I don't know what to do with myself. God I'm such a mess!!

I close my eyes and take a deep breath before looking back at Louis, "Do you think it's possible to, like, I don't know, find someone attractive whose gender you're not normally attracted to?"

Louis blinks at me and tilts his head in confusion, "What do you mean? Like I'm attracted to guys but I can still acknowledge when a girl's attractive, even if I'm not personally attracted to her. Is that what you're getting at?"

"No, no, not that, um, okay, so for example, there's a guy and he's straight but he finds himself attracted to his friend, who's also a guy. Do you think that kind of thing is possible?" I explain using my real life example, but Louis doesn't need to know that.