Proceed with Caution (jikook/kookmin)

14. despite everything

Healing takes time but when love is involved it's inevitable. Jungkook thinks in a way that he also loves Suji. Not in a romantic way but in a way you'd eventually come to love one of your closest friends.

As soon as Jimin walks Jungkook out that afternoon, the taller deciding to give Suji and him some time alone together, Jungkook asks him,

"I know that you tell me it's worth it and you say you don't regret it but... when you look at me will it be hard? Will it be hard to touch or kiss me without feeling guilty, without hating yourself?"

And Jimin looks surprised that he caught that. Jungkook thinks, why wouldn't he? He can't seem to miss anything when it comes to Jimin.

"Yes," Jimin says eventually and Jungkook frowns.

"Well, I don't want you to hate yourself."

Jimin shakes his head, an airy little scoff falling past his lips. "Jungkook, some days I hate myself regardless of loving you. For things I've done, things I can't help. Me loving you only fueled my hate but I don't hold that against you or our love. I did, at first, of course, but you don't deserve that," his eyes stare deeply, hands finding Jungkook's when he corrects, "We don't deserve that. That's why I don't regret anything when it comes to us and I do think it was worth it."

"Hating yourself more was worth it?" Jungkook asks quietly, feeling sad.

Jimin doesn't respond right away. Eventually, he speaks, a small, playful smirk on his lips, "Loving you is worth anything."

"That doesn't make me feel good. That makes me feel bad," Jungkook responds, not so eloquently.

"I'm sorry," Jimin says, smile dropping.

Jungkook sighs, his gaze moving away for a second.

"So what can I do to help you not hate yourself?"

Jimin is quiet for a while and Jungkook convinces himself that he's really thinking about it. When he responds, his voice is sweet in that soothing Korean.

"You don't have to do anything. Just keep loving me, even on the days where I might be difficult."

"But—"

Jimin cuts him off, his ringed hands squeezing Jungkook's gently. "And maybe in time, I'll learn to love myself through you."

"You promise you'll try?"

"Of course. You already make me feel good. Better than I have in years."

Jungkook nods and watches as Jimin steps forward. They stare into each other's eyes, Jungkook's heart hammering in his chest when the older's hands let go of his and finds his face.

"Kiss me," Jimin requests and Jungkook leans down to fulfill his wishes.

He closes his eyes, that unpleasant ache to Jimin's confession easily being flooded with the feeling of love.

His hands find Jimin's wrists and he holds him tightly, lips kissing without a care in the world. Anyone could be watching them and nothing but Jimin's lips sliding against his would matter to him.