It was 8 pm, right after dinner...

XXV

"Brett! Are you ok? You sick again?"

Eddy was on the other side of the bathroom door, knocking and from time to time hammering on it, while Brett was inside losing his shit. He looked at himself in the mirror and almost didn't recognize himself. His cheeks were so flushed he looked like a girl having used way too much of that red stuff they sometimes put on. His eyes were big and shiny and he was breathing heavily.

Alright, Brett! Get your shit together! This is not funny anymore, he pep-talked himself. His brain was not capable of convincing his heart or soul or where ever those stupid emotions were coming from though.

"Brett! Why are you not answering? Are you hurling?", Eddy yelled and Brett could hear genuine concern seeping through every word he said. So, first priority was to make sure, that Eddy wouldn't worry anymore.
He took a deep breath and shouted back:" No, everything's fine! Just seriously need to pee."
His voice was still extremely shaky, but apparently, that was either not audible or Eddy was satisfied with the answer, because he said: "Oh, okay." and finally left.

Brett splashed his face with cold water and rubbed it dry. The redness was still not gone, so he decided to take a shower. Would be a good idea anyway, he figured, after what had happened last night. The cascading water did help and he sighed, slowly calming down again.

When Brett left the bathroom with a towel around his hips, Eddy was nowhere to be found, which he was actually quite thankful for. He needed space to think, and he needed space to talk. So he went into his room and picked up his phone.

He scrolled through his contacts and wondered, with whom he should discuss this matter. Jordon? Maybe, but he hadn't seen or talked to that guy on a personal level for so long, so he wasn't sure if that would help. The same went for Shaun or all their uni friends. His parents were out of question, they'd get too worked up and besides, he simply didn't want to discuss this with them. And his brother led such a different life in such a different place, that a conversation with him wouldn't shed any light into his mess either. Also, he might tell their parents, so, nah!

There weren't that many left, so he went with the first best option he could think of: Ray. He might overreact too, but at least he knew both of them and their situation well enough to maybe help out.

The first three rings went unanswered and Brett already thought, that Ray was in a rehearsal or a concert even, when the other finally picked up.

"Brett?"
"Ray, hi! Sorry to disturb you."
"Oh, Bretty bae, you can always call and disturb me, no problem", Ray said sicklishly sweet. Brett rolled his eyes so hard they hit the back of his scull.
"Actually, I think that's a bad idea. Sorry for the interruption. Bye!"
"No, nooo! Don't overreact, Bretty!"
"Then drop the pet names!"
"Alright, alright. Not in the mood, huh?", Ray asked with a more serious tone now.
Brett sighed. "Not really. Sorry for yelling. How are you?"
"Oh, good good! I'm in Taiwan now and it's really great to see my family and all this friendly people. You should come here too, both of you!"
"We might, actually", Brett said and thought, how great it would be, if the three of them could hang out in their homeland. He made a note to himself to talk to Eddy about a potential visit on the island, maybe do some projects there...

"And how are you? How you've been? Do you know more about your illness now? Sorry, I didn't call earlier, I was so busy I could really do with holidays now."
So Brett went ahead and told Ray all about the visits at the Gastroenterologist and the results, which might or might not be accurate. Ray was a lamb and listened quietly (for once). Brett summarized all the nasty events with "feeling under the weather" and finally came to the part, where he needed some wisdom/advice/answers or whatever... Just figuring out what he needed to look for would be a great start already!

"So, I don't really know where to begin, Ray", he started.
"Is it about your illness?"
"Not really... Or I don't know if it's connected or not..."
"Okay. So just tell me why you wanted to call me in the first place."
It was silent for a few seconds, where Brett tried to bring order in his chaotic thoughts.
"Hmm... I think it has something to do with... emotions."
"Emotions? Didn't know you had any, deadpan-king", Ray chuckled.
"Apparently, I do! And they're driving me crazy!"
"Why do they drive you crazy? Do you feel overwhelmed with the situation you're in?"
"Maybe... I think that's part of it."
"So, you're afraid?", Ray asked, matter-of-factly.
"Sometimes... But not really..."
"Brett, you know you're not giving me much to work with, right?"
"I know!!! I'm sorry!", Brett yelled and ruffled his still damp hair in frustration. "Look! I think it's more like... There are these very intense feelings sometimes. I get flustered, warm, overwhelmed and also a bit frightened, but mostly it's just fuzzy and occasionally even... well... nice."

"Nice?", Ray asked, his voice sounding surprised, "I thought you have problems. How is feeling nice a problem?"
"Because it's just... I can't handle it!"
"Why can't you handle nice? Are you too used to suffering now?"
"I don't know! It's just too overwhelming."
"Hmm...", Ray made and Brett could picture his thinking face clearly.
"When do these... nice feelings appear? Is there something, that triggers this?"
"I don't know..."
"Try to make out a pattern. The lowest common denominator. What is that?"
Brett tried to think of all the situations, where he got those weird emotions. Subconsciously, he knew he might know, what it could be. He was really afraid to dig deeper though, because it could open a can of worms he was not ready to deal with at all.

But in the end, he had called Ray with the goal to find out more about his weird headspace, so what point was there, when he tried to avoid the truth? So, Brett took a deep breath and tried to voice his thoughts.
"Well...", he hesitated.
"Yes?"
"When I get these... weird feelings... it's always when Eddy's around, I guess...?"
"..."
"Ray?"
"..."
"Ray, you still here?"
"Yeah... Just thinking..."
Brett slowly got a bit worried. Ray never took long to think. He normally just talked like a book.

"Is Eddy doing something special in these situations?", Ray finally asked. His voice had a funny tone, which Brett couldn't really place.
"Well, he's normally just there, doing stuff. Sometimes it's, when he's taking care of me..."
"But it's always, when he's around?", Ray clarified.
"Yeah, I think so." Brett had a bad feeling about this and had to fight the urge to just hang up the phone.

"Brett", Ray suddenly sounded a bit unsure, "you guys have known each other forever. How is it, that all of a sudden you have... well... weird feelings, when you're around him?"
"It's not always! Just sometimes", Brett specified, really hoping Ray's (and his) thoughts weren't going into a direction he under no circumstances wanted to go.
"But it's random. Sometimes he's just standing around and sometimes he's taking care of you?"
"Yes! I think so..."
"Hmmm..."

Brett waited a full minute for Ray's verdict.
"Brett, I have two theories. But I'm not sure, if you want to hear them. They're both plausible, but remember, that I'm a world class soloist, not a psychiatrist."
"You had to add the 'world class', huh?", Brett smirked lightly despite the situation.
"That's what I am! So, do you want to hear it, or not?"
"You sound so serious you're freaking me out!", Brett exclaimed, "Is it gonna be this life changing?"
"It might be, Bretty, it might be..."