Ray's laughter was still ringing in Brett's ears, when he slumped himself face down on his bed. On the side, where Eddy had been... with Eddy's scent still lingering...
He groaned loudly! Everything was so frustrating and his mind was in such a chaotic state lately, that he was close to let himself be admitted to a psychiatric ward.
Had Ray made it better? He doubted that. Before, he was "just" generally confused about some weird feelings and now, he had to doubt his own sexuality and question the core of his relationship with Eddy. Great...
Brett groaned again into the mattress. How on earth was he going to make sense of all this? He really didn't want to further explore the possibility of theory number two being remotely true. For him, the most plausible explanation was still, what he himself had found out and what Ray had suggested first: That him being dependent on Eddy and Eddy looking after him had changed their dynamic and awoken some warm feelings of appreciation for him or so.
Yes! That just had to be it and if two people independently came to the same conclusion, it had to be true, right?
But there was still something in the back of his head nagging him. Those feelings, those emotions he had felt... it was unlike anything he had ever experienced before. It had made him almost entirely uncapable of functioning. God, he sometimes had just blanked when it had been particularly... bad.
So, could Ray's first hunch really be it? Or was it maybe just one side of a coin and the other was still covered? Hinted at by Ray, but so absurd Brett was almost sure it was just a result of him reading too many weird (fan-)fictions.
In love with Eddy Chen. What a joke, Brett thought, and sighed.
Objectively, it was not that ridiculous to have a crush on that guy, of course. Eddy was kind, dependable, smart af, a good talker, hard working (most of the time at least), talented in many ways, funny, tall and good looking. Even Brett knew that much and Eddy had had his fair share of girlfriends back in the days. Brett wasn't sure, if he was seeing anyone now, but he could totally understand all those girls, who used to, or still were, swooning over him.
However, if Eddy was seeing someone, he would have told Brett, right?
He felt a nasty feeling creeping up on him, adding yet another colour to his poor, confused mind and he hated himself for that. Eddy was free to be with anyone he wanted to and he had no obligation whatsover to inform Brett about it. He shouldn't be too cocky, just because he was his best friend...
The bed received an angry punch from Brett, as he let out yet another muffled, frustrated moan. There was no use! He had to just let things roll and see, what happened. His confusion was simply too big for him to form any logical thought at the moment, so he pushed himself up and started to finally look for clothes in his closet.
The subject of "his potential love interest", how Ray had labelled Eddy, came home, just when Brett wanted to hang the towel back in the bathroom.
"Thought I get us something for breaktfast", Eddy explained and pointed at a bag he was carrying, "You feel like eating?"
Brett's belly had emptied itself last night and he got quite hungry during the call with Ray, so he nodded gratefully. "Thanks! I could do with food."
They ate in silence, with Brett feeling very self aware because of that stupid theory of stupid Ray. He kept his eyes firmly on the food and tried to think of something normal to say after having fled his own room, when Eddy had held his hand and his whole world had gone upside down...
Finally, it was Eddy, who started to speak first. He cleared his throat.
"Uhm... Brett. If I have overstepped any boundaries just before with... you know... sleeping in the same bed and all, I wanted to apologize."
Brett's head shot up and he stared at Eddy.
"What?", he said, baffled.
"You looked really shocked back then and I'm really sorry, if I have caused you any discomfort..."
"Eddy! No", Brett shook his head vehemently. Honestly, he hadn't even thought of Eddy possibly taking his behaviour the wrong way, but of course he would. Brett mentally slapped himself for being oblivious of having hurt Eddy's feelings. Well, he had his own shit to deal with...
"You've done nothing wrong. We have shared beds many times before. Of course it's fine for me, if you stay over", Brett tried to explain.
"Oh...", Eddy made and visibly relaxed. "Oh, okay... you sure? Why did you suddenly leave though? I was sure, I went too far or something... but you know me, I can be a bit touchy sometimes."
Which will be the death of me one day, Brett thought, but said instead: "I know, of course. I just really needed to use the bathroom." Shitty explanation, he knew, but right now, that was the best he could provide. "No mate! No need to apologize at all! You helped me out yesterday and gave me quite the pep talk this morning, so I actually have to thank you. So, well... thank you!"
Eddy chuckled. Brett smiled. And they continued breakfast in a much lighter mood.
YOU ARE READING
It was 8 pm, right after dinner...
FanfictionOne evening after dinner, Brett felt something happen to him... A fanfiction loosely based on Brett's illness in 2020. First time writing something like this and also not an English native speaker, so if you find any errors, I'm happy for feedback...