It was 8 pm, right after dinner...

LXXXV

"Merry Christmas, Brett."

Eddy's first sentence after his marvelous performance of the second movement of the Korngold violin concerto was almost spoken as a whisper, barely audible, but carrying so much tenderness it was like a continuation of Eddy's playing.

Brett cleared his throat, yet his reply was only a mere croak. "Merry Christmas, Eddy."

Eddy lifted his violin and bow a bit.
"This is your actual Christmas gift, Brett. The others were for the world to see, but this one is for your ears and eyes only. It's also my 'speech' I still owe you from after we filmed the 'among us' video."

Brett swallowed hard.

Eddy took a deep breath and continued. His voice stronger this time.
"You might know, what this piece means to me and if not, I hope my playing was somehow able to transfer some of my emotions. You might also know, that I listened to it a lot in highschool, but you might not know why."
Brett stopped breathing and he was pretty sure his heart had also stopped doing its duty. Highschool? Was it really possible...

"I've been in love with you since the moment we've met I think. I was young though, didn't really know what I felt and if that wasn't just fondness for my new best bro. But around highschool, I realized I was lost. That I'd never love someone the way I love you. But I knew you were straight and that there was simply no way to say anything without losing you. So I kept it to myself. And Korngold, amongst other pieces, helped me through this time. At least that's what I told myself."

Love... Eddy said love...

"And I tried to date other people, like you did. Tried to have girlfriends as you know and I think I even managed to forget about my feelings for you for a while. Because you must know, that I genuinely liked those girls. I dated none of them just for fun or for the sole purpose of forgetting about you, even though we were best friends and spent most of our time together." Eddy paused and inhaled deeply.
"But none of them... For none of them I felt what I had felt for you. That's why none of the relationships lasted in the end, as much as I tried."

"You...", Brett rasped after a short while of both of them just looking at each other, "...you never said..."
Eddy shook his head and sniggered sadly. "No. I never said. How could I ever risk losing you? And when we started Twoset, there was even more at stake. I couldn't! You never showed any interest in any guys or me. So I couldn't even dare to try. But as I said, I kind of forgot about it or at least pushed it to the back of my head for quite some time...
...until you got sick."

Brett gulped and tried to push the tears away, which were just there, micrometers under the surface.

"When you first fainted, it was like someone had turned off the sun. Like the earth had stopped spinning. And we didn't even know what it was back then. But I was so afraid for you I nearly lost it! I couldn't though. I knew I needed to be strong for you, for both of us."

Brett wanted to run over, jump those two meters and eliminate the distance between them so he could hold Eddy in his arms.
But he didn't. He knew that Eddy wasn't finished yet. That he needed to say more.

"All those feelings I'd tried to push away all those years, they came back like an avalanche and I once again knew for sure, that I was so, so, sooo far gone for you. It was like a little revelation. But I had to take care of you first. You had to get better and that was my first priority.
However, after some time, I noticed some changes in our relationship. There were times when I thought you looked at me differently, your gaze rested longer and the way you reacted when I did or said certain things... you even got me a piece of beautiful jewelery! But then there was that thing with the violinist girl from our line up. The one you got jealous about and I almost lost all hope again. And your private convo with Sophie..."

The urge to explain everything was huge in Brett. Yet, he stayed silent and just watched his best friend with big eyes.

"But luckily for me, it didn't work out. And the way you were around me just... I don't know. It felt different and more... just more! I thought I'd be a fool for not at least giving my all to win your heart. But I wanted you to get better first. Your health was always the most important thing for me. Everything else could wait.
That's why I didn't go for it when... you know, when we almost kissed. I wanted you to be fine first. I didn't know if the things I thought were there, were just because you were dependend on me and you maybe did stuff just out of gratitude. If I'd get my hopes up and you would feel differently after you're fully recovered, I would be devastated.
I also didn't want things to just happen randomly. I wanted to properly confess my feelings for you. I didn't want this to be rushed. You deserve the very best, Brett, and I wanted to do everything by the books. The relationship with you is the one thing I want to do right in my life.
But then, I saw how you ran away into your room, how incredibly sad you looked and I thought, just holding on to my principles and make you miserable in the meantime makes no sense. So I went after you and... well, you know the rest."

Brett didn't have the strength to nod. He was frozen solid. Shocked by what was reaching his ears.

"And when we said we'll wait, I first thought that's the only right thing to do. It was as I had intended in the first place. But it got more difficult by the day. So I decided to do this", Eddy made a semi circle with his arms, gesturing at their surroundings "on Christmas Eve. Forgive me, that I couldn't hold myself back any longer. Maybe I should have waited until we're back to living our normal lives. But then again, it would have been too obvious, wouldn't it?"
He winked. Brett's heart skipped a beat.

"And I always wanted to do something like this, when it came to it. Perform Korngold, just tell you the whole story and hope you'll get it on multiple dimensions, hear it in the two languages we know best. Speech and music."

There was no holding back the tears now. They streamed down, as Brett held his breath and waited for the next beautiful words.

"So I hope that all this conveys what I want to say. And I guess what I really want to say to you is,..."

Another intake of breath. A small pause before the final chords, before the coda, the resolution.

"... that I love you, Brett Yang. I'm not gonna do the 'I have feelings for you' and wait for another six months until I say what I've known for half my life. So there it is, out in the open. No chickening out. I love everything you do, every timbre of your voice, every tear you shed the last few months and before, every laughter of yours, every note you play on your violin, every joke you make... I love you and if this is the only truth I'll ever find in my life, I'm the happiest man alive."

Eddy was a bit breathless after what must have been the most wonderful, astonishing monologue Brett had ever heard. And yet, the one thing that kept ringing in his ears was the most famous, simple and yet powerful phrase:

I love you.

Eddy Chen really loved Brett Yang!

Brett had assumed similar after their incident featuring their first, admittedly brutal kiss. That's why he couldn't believe how much it still shocked him and how surprised he was actually hearing those words outloud, spoken by beloved lips.

"So...", Eddy whispered, visibly moved himself, "what do you say, Brett?"

A/N: Hooow awesome was the four mil concert?? All the surprises and little pranks included! I'm in awe of their talent and hard work! Hope everyone enjoyed it!