Breighton~
Somedays you don't wanna get up but you have to. Somedays you have to the face the real world even when your crumbling. Somedays you're unbielievably sad... And today ias that someday for me. As I listen to the ring of my alarm I roll over to face the wall and think of the conversation I had with Grace the other day. I can't believe I told everyone about my dad. I'm such an idiot. I roll back over to face the dreaded alarm clock and I slowly turn it off. I then drag myself out of bed. I was already late from pressing the snooze buttom one to many times. I guess the crew didn't bother to wake me up. I just shrugged off the creeping feeling of being unwanted and trudged to the bathroom. There I did my make up and brushed my already straight hair. Then I got dressed in my uniform. Totally giving up trying. Trying to be different. If someone was watching me during this whole morning they would have thought that I was half awake. I wished it was just that I was half awake and not because depression was creeping up my ass.I pulled on my Chucks and headed out to the campus. As I got there it was after lunch which meant that I had music class. Unfortunatley for me I had a project due today and I share that class with all of the crew. Even Raychel and Zach. They just took it for and extra credit course and to have a class with all the crew. Raychel can sing though and on the rare day Zach will bless the class with his famous 'Let me suck your titties baby'. But today was my day unfortunately. When I got to the class everyone was already there. Manly because I took my time.I gave a big sigh as everyone looked at me. My anxiety sparking and making me look away. I could feel Jack, Samuel,Raychel,Gracelina,and Zachary 's eyes looking onto me. I just kept my peircing stare on the floor. "Um.. Breighton, It's your turn to preform your project." Oh right, unless I forgot to tell you, the project is one of me preforming infront of the class with a song of my choice. Obviously I wasn't prepared to sing infront of the class today. I just nodded my head and walked toward the piano. As I sat on the sleek woden stool, I began to lightly skim over the keys. I knew then what song I knew by heart and that would relieve most of my pain. "I'll be singing Hurt by Christina Aguilera." I announced into the microphone on the piano. My voice barley a whisper. I then began to play the chords to the song.
"Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today
Ooh ooh
I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes.
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again.
Sometimes I wanna call you but I know you won't be there
Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this, ooh, whoa
Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back
Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself, oh, oh, oh.
If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you since you've been away
Oh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time
I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you" The last words came out as a broken whisper. I was in tears and so was some of my fellow classmates. I quickly corrected my mistake and wiped my tears fast. I put on a straight face, my brothers words coming back to me. 'Don't let them see you weak. Then they have the power.'
"Sorry." I whispered. Still not totally having my voice back. I grabbed my stuff and ran out of the class room and Into the on coming storm. Rain pelted my back and I was getting dizzy from the fear of Thunder I had. I have this, I wouldn't call it disease, but its a condition where I have dizzy spells and faint on occaision from things that overwelm me.
I found myself turning in circles on the basketball court on the side of the facility. My heart beating fast, my head pounding, someone calling my name. I fell onto my knees as a bang of thunder surrounded me. The last thing I saw was Gilinksy hovering over my body with a phone to his ear and a plead in his eyes.
Then everything that I was feeling consumed my body: emptyness and darkness.
