the nonexistence

the come-down

im scared,

life feeling to good to be true,

when will life come crashing down,

i need to stop pretending that i can be something I'm not,

i need to disassociate from people,

and face my harsh reality,

im not going to have the life i so desperately want,

but i need to accept my fate and move on with my life,

i need to stop trying to be the people pleaser everyone wants me to be,

thats not me,

im messy,

i overthink,

i look to drinking to solve my problems,

but i act surprised when i have no friends and no one to turn to,

i expect the worse in life,

so it happens,

in the end when everything goes black,

that is where i will feel at peace.                                                                                    ~j.p