𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐓

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟗: 𝐌𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐎𝐧

Jason made his way into the courthouse. His presence terrified me. I was starting to shake. My mom hugged me and tried her best to comfort me but it was no use. He has already affected me so much. Just seeing him brings back all the terrible memories. I tried taking deep breaths to calm down but he kept coming closer. 

He walked right past me while maintaining at least 20 feet of distance. But that 20 feet couldn't prevent him from eyeing me up and down and secretly smirking. He made his way to his side of the courtroom and took a seat. 

Just then the trial started. It felt like some of the most scariest hours of my life. I was asked to narrate yesterday's incident in detail again. It was already bad before but now Jason was here. I would occasionally see him smile and smirk whenever I mentioned how he touched me. 

How disgusting can this man be? 

I continued answering questions and stating my point of view for almost 40 minutes. It felt like the longest 40 minutes of my life. 

After all of that I was allowed to go back to my mom and take a seat. It was then Jason's turn to speak. I expected him to deny it but what he did was worse. 

He started talking about how much he enjoyed it and how he had absolutely no regrets. 

This man has no shame. He's truly disgusting. 

I hate him. 

I hate him so much. 

I had to sit in that room and listen to this man talk about how much he loved assulting me for almost an hour. His statement was longer than mine. It was terrible. Very terrible. I hated every second of it. 

Just like that, it was almost night and we were about to hear what the judge had to say.

"Jason Crawford. This court has found you to be guilty. You are being sentenced to 30 years in prison." the judge stated loudly.

My jaw dropped. 

30 years. 

This man gets to rot in prison for 30 years. 

I was beyond happy. That's what this disgusting pervert deserves. 

He deserves to rot. 

Jason nodded and the police officers started taking him to his jail cell. 

Before he left he gave me one last smile and mouthed

"I have no regrets, Avery. No regrets."

Before I knew it he was gone. I covered my mouth and fell to my knees. My mom rushed towards me and pulled me into her embrace. Everyone knew how hard this was for me so they just decided to let us be. 

After crying for half an hour my mom started taking me back to our car. She helped me get seated and started the car. I wanted to sleep but ended up staying awake for the whole car ride. I sat there with an emotionless expression. The whole car ride was silent. The only noises you could hear were the engine and the radio playing on low volume. 

One hour went by faster than I thought. I quickly got out of the car and asked my mom to help me upstairs. I wasn't in the mood for dinner and just wanted to sleep.

I can't believe how my life has turned out. I'm just 16 years old. 

Although I'm a teenager, deep down I'm just a lost kid. 

I haven't seen this world yet. There is so much more for me out there. But unfortunately, my life isn't how I expected it to be. 

Is this what I deserve? 

Did I do something evil to deserve this?

I mean I lost my dad at a young age. I saw my mom almost fall into depression. And worst of all I was raped by my mom's now ex-boyfriend. 

How did things turn out this way? 

If only I could turn back time. 

If only my dad was still alive. 

If only my mom had never met Jason. 

If only I had never met Jason. 

My life would be perfect. It would be like a dream come true. But instead, my life's a living hell. It's worse than any nightmare that anyone could have ever even imagined. 

Several thoughts continued to flood my already messed up mind. 

Would I ever be able to move past this? 

Would I need to see a therapist? 

Would anyone ever want to love me? 

A rape victim. 

A rape survivor. 

Would any guy ever want to be with me now? 

Wouldn't they just feel disgusted by me? 

Hot tears started streaming down my face. I quickly wiped them but they were replaced with new ones. Simply thinking about these thoughts worries me. I feel so alone right now. I just want a normal and happy life. I hope that one day I can move past this and achieve that. 

Until then I'll take my time. 

Lots and lots of time. 

If I'm really thinking about it this could take years. I don't think I will ever fully heal. 

Is it really worth it then? 

Will all this trying to move on ever pay off? 

I don't know, but all I can do now is take my time and try. 

Lots and lots of trying.