*ring* *ring* *ring*
"Hello?"
"Hey! It's Kellin."
"Oh, Hey man! Whats goin on?"
"Do you have a car?"
"Yea... Why do you ask?"
"I need to go somewhere,far away."
"Ooh, sounds like a roadtrip?"
I smiled to myself. "Yep. Just like that."
I gave him my address and started packing my bags.
I just called Matty Mullins.
Why? Wasn't I the one who just a few days ago ran away crying when Vic's aunt brought him up?
Yes. I was. Sadly. But why did I call Matty?
Well, you already know that Matty was my best friend. He's the only one who knows about the nightmares. He was there when they started up the last time and he helped me get through it. This 'road trip' should give us plenty of time to work things out between us so it isn't awkward the whole trip.
Now addressing Vic. I had to leave him. I know it wasn't the best choice, but I did it because I love him. I know that sounds cliche, but it makes total sense! If I stayed with him, he'd find out about the nightmares and send me away. So leaving him eliminates the chance of him finding out and therefore eliminates the chance of losing him. Even though i'm not with him now... Neither of us get hurt this way, right?
I heard a honk come from outside my house telling me that Matty was here. I hauled my bags out the door and waved to Matty who was already rushing to help me with my bags. We got them in the trunk and finally said actual hi's to each other. We stood in awkward silence before I couldn't hold myself back from wrapping my arms around him. "I missed you Matty." I could feel his smile. "I missed you too Kellin." I had missed the sound of his voice. "Well I guess we should get going, seemed like you were kind of urgent... Whats the prob?" Matty asked as we entered the car. "Well, it's urgent, I guess. Just trying to get away..." Matty remained silent, politely waiting for me to continue.
I took a deep breath. "Can we talk about us?" I paused. Matty expression didn't change. He still looked engaged in listening. "Like, are we ok? I mean we didn't really talk after..." I stopped.
He knew what I meant. He nodded his head slowly.
"Kellin,that was a long time ago. I've long forgiven you. I'm over that! I'm not the homophobic asshole I used to be. I mean, I'm not gay, but I've got a lot of friends that are." I nodded and smiled. "Good, cuz I have.... well, had a boyfriend..." I paused, and clutched my side.
I dug my nails into my stomach at the thought of Vic. I still loved him.
A lot.
I can't and never will forget about him and how much he changed my life in the best way possible. "Is that who you're running from?" Matty asked sadly. I nodded as the first tears rolled down my face. "He was the best thing ever. I loved him, he loved me. But..." I paused again. "But what?" Matty asked. "But then the nightmares came back." I whispered. Matty nodded in understanding.
"And I thought that he wouldn't understand and think I was a freak or something and so, so I dont know I just thought that, if I left I wouldnt have to deal with him possibly not loving me anymore..." I said.
He nodded. "Ah, Kells. You push people away too much." Matty turned onto an exit. "I don't know what I was thinking Matty. I, I was stupid and, I just want him so bad." I sobbed. Matty reached over and squeezed my hand as a friendly reassuring way. I noticed we were going the oppisite direction than before. "Matty, where are we going?" I asked, wiping my face. "Home to see your boyfriend!" he said happily. I smiled. Boyfriend. Vic is my boyfriend. And I love him.
(longish chapter for ya!(not really...) hope every one is enjoying this ;§)
