Kiss Me Baby One More Time [ Britney Spears x Reader ]

Chapter 8: Attempted Makeover

As soon as you got home, you decided to finally do something about your musty, crusty, dusty self. It was finally time for a change. You couldn't walk into adulthood like an old-people hater, COD addict, and personified depression. You hurried to your bathroom and got in the shower for the first time in two and a half months.

Unfortunately, you were too stupid to consider that you barely had any products left; they were all cheap and useless, so you swiftly ran to the nearest Walmart and threw a bunch of hygiene products you didn't recognize into your flimsy shopping basket, trying to ignore the people who looked like they had a few weeks to live with their pants falling off as they licked peanut butter straight from the jars. Damn, you thought. They're almost as bad as me.

You waddled to the cashier with the fewest people in line and pulled out your ancient barely-functioning grandpa's credit card.

"That'll be $70.63, miss," said the innocent lady in front of you.

"Awesome, thank god I have $70.64 left!" Wow! You're so incredible and rich, omg!!

You paid and ran out with the basket; stealing was nothing new to you.

"Hey, grandpapito," you yelled at your grandfather, who was watching Cocomelon on the TV.

"H—"

You crawled up the stairs like a crab before he could finish, skipping to the shower and tearing open everything you just bought. It smelled so pleasant that it almost made you forget how disgusting you were.

You turned the water on and waited for it to heat up to sweltering temperatures while squirting shampoo into your hands and aggressively rubbing it in your hair. You were so excited to experiment with all of these new products that you used up most of them without realizing it, but at least you smelled a lot better when you got out. Slay queen give us a glow-up!!!

After drying your hair and body as quickly as possible, you threw on the cleanest clothes in your wardrobe, including a pair of jeans with emojis printed on them and a t-shirt that said: "Keep Calm and Read On."

Next, you knew you had to get a haircut; your hair was unmanageably tangled, and you wouldn't dare touch it with your inept hands. But wait... You literally had $0.01 left on your pee paw's credit card — how would you pay for the haircut? Oh, silly me, you thought, I'll just leave without paying.

You drove to "Curley Pubes," the best place you could find in your community, in your neighbor's car after smashing the window and climbing in.

"Hi, I need a haircut," you said bluntly.

"Um, yes you do," the receptionist agreed in disgust.

"Amanda, we have an emergency, please come and help this poor girl!"

"Thank you so much — is it okay if I pay after the appointment?" you asked, attempting to mimic the pleading face emoji (it didn't work, and it looked like the lady you were speaking to wanted to vomit).

"You have money??!? 😂😂🤣💀" she laughed, and honestly, you couldn't blame her because you literally didn't have money.

"Hey! I'm Amanda," said a young woman with wavy brown hair, introducing herself until she grimaced after finally processing your appearance.

"You look... clean? Anyway, have a seat, please," she gestured towards an empty chair in front of a mirror. Oh my gosh, you hadn't been to a place like this in forever. It must have been at least a decade since you decided to cut your hair with a fork after watching The Little Mermaid.

You sat down excitedly and watched in awe as she washed your hair and detangled it, finally grabbing the scissors.

"So... what are you going for?"

"idk can you just make it look good"

She raised her eyebrows and began cutting. She cut your hair so that it went a little past your shoulders and cut it a little shorter in the front so that it framed your face.

"Okay, so I parted your hair in the middle and chopped about four meters off. Do you want me to style it?"

"Yes!!!!" Like you thought before, you had no idea how to make your hair look good by yourself. The stylist curled it loosely and turned the curling iron off.

"Okay, you're done! How does it look?"

"A lot better!"

"yeah i know 😕"

You thanked her, sprinted out the door before anyone could catch you, and jumped back into the car you carelessly crashed and severely dented.

"Hi—" you greeted your grandpa before you got interrupted by his struggling asthmatic dying voice.

"THERE'S AN INTRUDERSJ?!!!??!*#("

Did you really look that different?

You decided you would skip school the next day to have more time to prepare for meeting Britney again at her house. You vacuumed the crumbs of Doritos off the carpeted floor of your room and tried to scrub off the stains of Monster you spilled over the past five years. After it didn't resemble a dumpster, you changed the sheets of your bed, switched out the pillows, and replaced your horribly torn quilt with a new one decorated with Disney princesses — except for that drawing of Goku you made with washable Crayola markers.

You ran to your abandoned vanity and fished out the makeup you stole from your mom twelve years ago, desperately trying to make sense of what the different tools were for. You pulled out a case of bright pink lipstick and carefully twisted it. While trying to apply it, you used too much force and literally broke it in half. girl get better you're failing miserably 😂

You were too afraid to touch foundation or any cream meant for your skin, so you found a palette with four pink shades and tried putting some on your cheeks. You looked like Mulan trying to impress the matchmaker with those circular patches in the middle of your face.

You then found a similar palette, except it had eight different colors. With your fantastic taste in makeup, you dug your finger into the ugliest, brightest blue you could find and rubbed it on your eyelids. It was incredibly pigmented but terribly messily applied. You tried to draw a line across your eyelids with a black marker that looked like eyeliner, but it ended up being even more uneven than a kindergartener's attempt at eye makeup.

You finally gave up (thank the lawd) and fell onto your bed, your face in your new glittery pillow, only to wake up to what looked like a horrifying drawing of the makeup you put on the day before. You desperately wished you'd get better, opened Instantgram to watch makeup tutorials, and noticed a notification you never thought you would see.

britney.spearsxoxo is following you

BRITNEY SPEARS IS FOLLOWING ME????