Do you want to know a secret ?

Chapter 15: Anna go to him.

Waking up the morning after something big happened the night before, something that feels significant, or just something like a kiss you shared with a person you haven't been able to stop thinking about for weeks... when waking up, there is always one single moment when you're not entirely sure if the day before was real, or if it was just the best, most interesting, most romantic dream you've had in years.

The first thing I wanted to do was call Eleanor. I could already hear her voice over the phone line, screaming and cheering in excitement. I had been awake for a whole minute before I stopped myself because I knew I couldn't. It was this first morning in London when I'd start to feel guilty again since George convinced me to come here, and this time it was worse then ever.

Sometimes guilt slowly fades over time, withering like a solitary rose in a vase, but sometimes it can grow more powerful and more strong the longer you avoid confronting it, like a wild, thorny, rose bush that won't let itself be trimmed.

Eleanor, who's been my best friend since the very moment she first sat down next to me in that otherwise horrible geometry class five years ago. Eleanor who has been there for me always. And who now had no idea where I was.

I'd been in 1962 for almost three whole weeks now, and it was the longest time we'd ever not seen each other or spoken on the phone.

Three weeks I'd been gone. Where would they even think I was? Ran away, abducted, killed? Something worse? Would the police have been involved?

That morning, the morning after the most wonderful and magical night of my whole life, was the same morning I realised I had to go home. Not in the same way as before, not in the way where it was always somewhere present in the back of my mind, a feeling shoved deep, deep down that sometimes came bubbling to the surface. But a strong realisation that I had to get back to 2018 no matter what. I couldn't wait any longer. I had to go home. Not through the cavern club, I'd tried everything I could think of wanting to find answers about the man, the card and the flash. So I'd have to find my answers elsewhere.

But first I had an appointment.

As I flipped through the magazines on the table in front of me, dozens of haircuts flying through my mind I could see my own grandmother having had when she was young, the hairdresser was pouring me a cup of tea. The shop smelled of flowery perfume and hairspray and it was decorated quite sweetly with records lining the walls and plants on every surface. There were a few other girls and young women sitting on comfy chairs reading the same magazines as I had in front of me. They were sitting beneath these big round hair dryers, that if I squinted a little looked like silly hats. I Supposed they didn't have the kind of hairdryers from my own time yet.

The hairdresser came up behind me as I looked at myself in the mirror and for the first time since coming here I realised I clearly didn't fit in and this visit was long overdue. I watched her as she eyed me with a hint of suspicion while setting a coaster down in the little table next to me and carefully placing the overfull, delicate, tea cup on top.

"Hi, my name is Anna," she started in a cheerful manner. "So, sweetie what kind of hair style are you looking for today? Did you happen to perhaps find anything in one of those magazines that you liked?"
She stared at me blinked a couple times waiting for my answer. Her accent was American.

"I uh..."

"If you're not sure I can always just do something with it that I think you'll like if you can't decide... you seemed a bit lost."

"I just don't know where to even start." I sighed with an ere of hopelessness. "I mean to be completely honest with you," I reduced my voice to a whisper and she leaned in closer. "I'm not really...from here, so I've got no clue what's in at the moment and it's been difficult. For now I just want to fit in."