Reminiscence of the Past

XXXI. A Confession?

"Once we get inside, we have to be quiet," I whispered as we entered through the back door

"Where are we?" She asked

"My home or my mother's home," I said, looking around the corner and continue to walk to my room

"Why would you bring me here?" She stopped, making me stumbled into her

"Where else would I take you?" I looked down at her, "You didn't give me much of a choice. Now, let's hurry before we get found out,"

"Too late,"

"Fuck," I mumble

"Aulus, who's that with you?" Caius asked

"A friend," Knowing I couldn't lie

"Why are you hiding this 'friend'?"

"Caius, can we stop this interrogation?"

"It's only right that I know whos entering my home,"

Octavia/Juventia moved in my arms and tried to show herself. I pulled her back into my chest, but she pinched my nipple, making me let go of her.

"Good afternoon, sir. I'm sorry for causing trouble in your home," She bowed her head

"How do you know Aulus?"

"We met at the marketplace,"

"And why would a young lady like you interact with a man, especially him?"

"Caius, please stop," I sighed

"No, Aulus. I have to know who she is and what trouble she could bring," He said, crossing his arms

"I don't want to cause any trouble. I'll leave,"

"Don't pay attention to him, Octavia," I grabbed her hand, pulling her along with me, "You can stay in my room,"

"Aulus, were not done talking here,"

"Yes, we are, Caius,"

Octavia/Juventia pulled on my hand, stopping. She looked at Caius.

"My name is Juventia, not Octavia. I don't want to cause any trouble for Aulus, so if you want me to leave, I will,"

"That'll be the best action you can take, Juventia,"

"Your not leaving, Octavia," I grabbed her hand

"It's Juventia, Aulus. Not Octavia. I lied to you so many times, so just let me go, please," She pleaded

"And do I care? I don't care if your name is Rova or your the daughter of the emperor. Your not leaving and were going to talk things out," I told her

"Aulus, do you understand what you're doing?"

"Yes, and if you wish to scold me then go ahead, but just let me take her to my room,"

"Meet me in the dining room," He walked off

I pulled her along to my room, opening and closing the door behind us. I let go of her hand and walked to my closet that held my other clothes and blankets. I grabbed a blanket and draped it around Juventia.

"So, is your name really Juventia?" I asked

"Yes. Octavia is the name I use outside so no one will know my true identity," She looked down

"Is that why you never trusted me?"

"I don't trust anyone, Aulus," She pulled on the blanket, "You see how my father treats me. My trust for anyone is ruined,"

I squat down in front of her, holding her hands, "Juventia, I'm on your side regardless of what people say. Whatever you tell me, I'll believe it,"

She chuckled, "Aulus, you shouldn't trust me. I've been lying to you so much,"

"Then tell me everything,"

"It's going to take some time. Are you sure you have the time?" She smiled at me

"I do," I smiled back, "The punishments to me don't matter,"

"My father didn't want me at all. He never wanted a daughter so you can guess how disappointed he was once I was born. He only wanted sons and he did, but once my younger sister came into the picture, they stopped having children," She squeezed my hands, "Since I'm the eldest daughter and second child, I'm the mother to my siblings now and the role model. What I care or feel doesn't matter," She let out a shaky breath, "When I was 14, I met my husband then two months after my 15th birthday, I was a married woman. I didn't know how to run a household or to be a grown woman, so I had to learn the hard way. My husband was caring in the beginning, but you know it changed once I didn't get pregnant. I was never happy, just constantly on a routine until I decided to leave the house during the day,"

"Did your parents ever worry?" I asked

"No, they told me it was my duty as their daughter. They made my husband stay with me until his mistress gave birth to a son. He divorced me and I went back to my father. He tried to marry me off again, but everyone knew me as the infertile one," She laughed, "So, as of right now I'm a divorcee, who no one wants to marry and I'm fine with that,"

"You don't know that, Juventia," I squeezed her hands

"Do you want to marry me?" I froze and looked at her, "Did that kiss memorize you?" She grinned

I looked away from her, my ears burning.

"You don't want me, Aulus. You'll find your wife soon," I looked back at her

"And what if I don't? Can't I just marry you?" I blurted out

Her eyes soften, "Your in love with idea of being married to me, but Aulus, it won't work,"

"I-I know I'm pushing it, but Juventia, we have been friends for 6 years, almost 7 years. I have thought day and night what my feelings for you were, but after that kiss, I realized what my true feelings were. I l-,"

Juventia covered my mouth with her hands, her eyes filling with tears, "Please don't,"

I grabbed her hands and pulled them off my face, "What do you want me to do? Do you want me to deem myself as worthy for your love? Or do you want me to wait?"

"You're already worthy, Aulus. But, I'm not worthy for you. You don't like me, you never liked me,"

"I'll let you think that," I stood up, letting go of her hands, "But, just know you're worthy of my love," I kissed her forehead, "I'll see you later tonight or the week. Don't leave this room at all. I'll tell the servants to bring supper here,"

I looked at her before walking out of my room, only to be startled by Caius.

"Follow me," He walked off and I followed him, sighing