Tired (Between a rock and a hard place 6)

Chapter 1

Jiang Yanli sighed deeply. Her parents were arguing, again. And as always, the object of their argument was Wei Wuxian. She was not unhappy or sad that they could not get along or agree when it came to her brother. That was just how things were. She only wished that they would stop arguing so often, for it ended up with her having to pick up the pieces of her family every single time, put them together and act as glue so the relationships between them so they would seem at least more or less normal.

She was currently walking around her father's office, for once in good mood and hight spirits. Or more precisely, she had been happy and relaxed, not anymore though. She did not have to deal with her broken family too much ever since Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng had left to study in the Cloud Recesses a few months ago.

Had the peace between her parents finally ended? Or had they been arguing all along and she had only not noticed? Both options were possible. The end note nevertheless was that the calm times were apparently over and she would once again have to step up and try her best to smooth things over.

Jiang Yanli sighed again, even deeper this time. She had gotten used to the peace in the Lotus Pier, she did not want it to end. She pointedly did not stop when passing the door to her father's study. When Wei Wuxian was not here, she knew that her mother's rage would at most mean a few more hours of training for the disciples. Nothing she would have to worry or take care about; she could ignore her parent's argument this time and walk away as if she had never heard anything.

She however already dreaded the moment when her brothers would come back and she would be expected to protect them, mostly Wei Wuxian though as her mother was biased against him and it was usually him who suffered her anger, justly or unjustly. She could not even remember the time when her parents were not arguing and when she did not have to stand on the side and console her brothers after a fight or take care of Wei Wuxian's injuries if shouting insults and harsh words had not been the only way in which her mother vented her rage.

She was tired of being the only one whom her brother would let close when he was in pain. As if she was the only person in the world to whom he would – and possibly also could – turn when in need.

Do not get her wrong, she loved her brothers, both of them. It was just that for one reason or another, Wei Wuxian's arrival to their home had destroyed the already fragile balance of her family's not so harmonious functioning. And it almost looked like he was made to suffer for it ever since.

She would often have to go to his room with bandages and medicines when her mother got especially angry. She would have to console him and subtly lift his spirits whenever his smiles had become too strained to watch and he would draw back from everyone. Some instances had actually been his own fault, getting punished for his and Jiang Cheng's pranks had long become a daily occurrence. However, more often than she would like to admit, the fault did not actually lay with him. He was the scapegoat of the family, but also the one thing holding them together.

Jiang Yanli would have to cook her lotus root pork rib soup for him and Jiang Cheng every time they argued or fought. Especially when her mother had been scolding Jiang Cheng as well which always made him upset and he would usually turn to his brother and pass the sting on. Jiang Yanli would have liked to believe that those were only mock brotherly fights, however, Wei Wuxian ended up shaken and hurt after them more often than not.

And, last but not least, she would also have to try not to be upset at the fact that her father was apparently happy to ignore the happenings in their home and any excessive behaviour when it came to Wei Wuxian. She wanted to believe that he was just too busy and perhaps did not have time to intervene after every harsh unjust punishment or every escalated fight, but she somehow had a hard time to. She felt her father was much like her, bothered by how dysfunctional their family had gotten, but unable to actually do anything about it aside for watching from the side-lines.

Jiang Yanli fully intended to walk away from her parents' fight this time. It was harmless really, neither Wei Wuxian nor Jiang Cheng were back yet, what should she care now? She did not want her leisurely time to end. She wanted to enjoy a simple and carefree life for a little longer. She actually truly dreaded the moment her brothers would come back and she would have to assume her usual role of a parent ang guardian figure.

She was already a few steps away from the door, the voices of her parents had since become muffled to the point where she could not hear them as clearly anymore. A weight had lifted from her shoulders. She had not even realized how tense she had become until the danger and stress had gone away. Hearing her parents argue after several months of calm peace had really done a number on her.

She was fully intending to ignore them this time, but she simply could not. Not when she heard her mother's voice go up again, more upset than ever, and the only word she could actually discern was 'troublemaker'. To her grief, she knew only too well who her mother was talking about. Something must have happened.

Without actually meaning to, Jiang Yanli's legs started working again and were now taking her farther and farther from her father's study. It was not that she was running away, not really. She only did not want to hear any more and be obliged to deal with anything the fight would result into. As long as Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng were not in the Lotus Pier, she only had herself to worry about.

And if running away meant protecting her peace of mind and sanity, she would not be ashamed for it. She could only go back to her role of a big sister and mother once the boys would be back and need her. She should conserve her energy until then and try her best to relax and be happy.