Burnt Lies

Vow

Alara

Speeding past blurs of towns had calmed me down ever so slightly, I felt the adrenaline pumping through my veins as the metre rose in speed. I made sure to stay on isolated roads despite my clouded judgement I wouldn't risk hurting anyone else in the process.

The secluded road I drove down turned into thick forests, an open road leading to nothing, I had no idea where I was going, I was just driving until my legs gave out. 

I rolled down the windows revelling in the wind brushing past my hair, and I had the sudden urge to scream into the deserted road.

I just wanted to shout out all my anger, to have it dissipate where no one else could hear it, have the chance to manipulate it to their own whims. A secret between me and the wind. 

For a moment, I closed my eyes, which was stupid I know. Dangerous beyond belief, but I knew there was nothing else here, no one else here to harm. 

The road was open, and long enough forward that if I closed my eyes for a few seconds nothing would happen. I closed them and just felt for a moment, the rough leather beneath my palm, the wind whispering sweet nothings in my ear, the skid of rubber against tarmac it's distinctive burning smell invading my nose.

And then I opened them again.

And I was back to reality, to me running away from my problems. 

"Fuck, what am I going to do?" I cursed out hoping that some answer would just fall into my hands. 

Wishful thinking I know.

That was when my phone rang, it was connected to the car via Bluetooth so my jovial ring tone sounded throughout the car.

I pressed the answer button on the console, seeing Cameron's name flash up on the screen. 

"Hey," my voice was softer than it had been when I was shouting at no one. 

"Alara, thank God, where are you?"

"I just went for a drive," I replied which was the truth in part. 

"At least you haven't been kidnapped again," though the statement was supposed to be one of humour there was an undercurrent of relief in his voice.

It was then his voice wavered how I had never heard it do before, "Alara can you come home, we need to talk?"

At those words, I felt like I was being unravelled. Talk. About what?

The words 'we need to talk' never ended well and my mind began to race, maybe he was breaking things off. Maybe he realised I wasn't worth it. 

I felt tears prick at my eyes.

"Talk, ok, yh I'll be home soon."

Before he could respond I ended the call, and let out a frustrated breath of air. I slammed my palm against the wheel feeling a fresh feeling of dread brew inside me. 

A thousand possibilities coursed through my brain, this was definitely it. Cameron had realised I was far more trouble than I was worth. This was it. I wasn't enough for him and he had finally realised it, seen through the thin veil of a person I had presented to him. 

I just wasn't enough. 

I skidded to a stop at the end of the road, and began to cry, hot angry tears spilling from my eyes as I remembered every word that we had shared. Only a few days ago I had made him promise not to break my heart and now here we were. 

He didn't need me anymore. He didn't want me anymore. I was just nothing. 

Worthless.

"Shit," I wiped the tears from my eyes and grabbed the clutch putting it in reverse and turning the card around before speeding down the way I had come.