How It Should Have Been

Chapter 5

The next morning, Jay woke up feeling something was missing. The body warmth near him was gone. Jay searched the bed for Hailey, but her side was cold, meaning she had been out of bed for a while.

"Hailey!" he whispered. It was quiet; no response. He got out of bed and called out her name again. "Hails."

"Living room," he heard back. Jay grabbed his phone and checked the time: 5:26 AM. He walked out of their room and went looking for her. He found her sitting on the couch, a blanket draped over her, reading a book. "Hey, What's wrong?"

"Nothing...just woke up and you were gone." He said groggily. He sat down next to Hailey and pulled some of her blankets on him. Hailey giggled as he yawned and got comfortable on the couch. "Why were you up?" He asked.

"Couldn't sleep."

"Everything alright," Hailey sighed. She was tempted to tell him everything that happened with Roy and Voight. She wanted him to know, but she was scared. Jay was the best thing that had happened to her in a long time. She was so lucky to have him in her life, have him by her side through all the hard times. Jay has told countless times that he isn't going anywhere, but this could be the breaking point. Him knowing the truth about Roy and what she did could be what breaks them apart, and she doesn't want to experience that. She can't lose Jay. Voight was right. The only two people that can know about this are herself and Voight, at least for now.

"I'm fine." She lied.

"Your Insomnia back?"

Hailey chuckled. "You know me so well." She leaned into him and rested her head on his shoulder. They sat there in silence, covered in a blanket. Hailey couldn't sleep well. She slept for a few hours until she couldn't any longer. Every time she closed her eyes, all she saw was Roy grabbing Voight's gun, and then boom, she woke up. It's short, but it's exhausting. Eventually, she gave up and decided to grab some tea and read a book in the living room. She was interrupted from her thoughts by Jay calling out her name quietly.

"Hailey?" He said, grabbing her hand under the blanket.

"Mhmm."

"You'll tell me if something is bothering you, right?" Hailey looked up and searched for his green eyes in the dark. Jay looked down at her and sighed. "I mean...I know the past few days have been insane and tiring for all of us, but I feel like something more is going on in your head. Something you aren't telling me." Hailey looked down at their intertwined hands.

She sighed and squeezed his hand. "I'm okay." Before Jay could speak, she continued, "It's just, these past few days, a lot has changed. With the unit, Kim, with us. I'm just waiting for things to go back to somewhat normal, you know?"

Jay nodded. "Yeah, I get it. Just know that you're not alone. If you want a shoulder to lean on or someone to talk to, you have me, always." He said, squeezing her hand. Hailey smiled. He was right, she always had him no matter what, and she will be forever grateful for that. She knew that Jay deserved the truth; everyone deserves the truth about Roy. But until she is confident that none of this will come back on her, the secret has to stay between her and Voight.

She squeezed his hand back and snuggled closer to him. "Always," she whispered.

Jay watched as exhaustion engulfed her, still wondering what was troubling his partner. All he knew was that no matter what, they had each other, and that was enough for him.