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It's been a pretty good day, to say the least, because I just finished my performance and had to run backstage to change my outfit for the next performance, but at the same time, it's not necessarily a good day, because Coop and I are always fighting. And whenever I have a the chance, he's literally the first person I call, but that just leads to him constantly going over my head and getting mad and blaming me for everything because I am always busy with work, which means I do not call him very often. That they occur and travel was not the problem, but the night you feel the loneliest because you are fine. from this you can conclude.He texts me every day, sends me voicemails, video calls me, and vice versa, but as I mentioned before, 40% of the time it just leads to us arguing, which was weird the first time because it felt like he needed me the most.
2 a.m.
You stayed up trying to sleep until your phone started vibrating, hoping it was coop and fortunately, it was him so you answered him,
"hey" he softly whispered
"hey" I responded back staring at his dark eye bags
"so what have you been up to?"
seconds pass but he still doesn't respond
"y/n.." he slowly called me
"what is it coop? you are scaring me, what's going on love?"
"Nothing, tell me how has the tour been" he hurriedly spoke almost like he wanted to change the topic
"Well..."
time skip
Thursday 9th June 2022 8:28 p.m
I've been trying to reach Coop at the airport for the past hour since we agreed that he would come and pick me up but here i am, in July's scorching heat waiting for him. I could've gone home with my team but Coop insisted.
"hello y/n" Coop's sister spoke over the other line
"Is everything okay, you sound.. sad?" i confusingly responded because she rarely calls me
"Yeah.. um well no but don't freak out ok?"
"ok??"
"so basically what happened is that the police just called and said that they found coop in a parking lot "
"And? is he okay?! I've been waiting for him since i can remember" i cut her off suddenly
"wait let me finish," she said sounding like she was trying to hold back her tears
"he.. he... was found dead" she quietly said
"...what?"
"i know it sounds absurd but you have to stay strong for him" she tries encouraging me while i just slouched over my bags
"i should i- how can i calm down? how can i??!" i shouted at her over the phone
"I just found out my boyfriend has been discovered dead at a freaking parking lot and you want me to stay calm? No you tell me if i can when i just talk to him barely 2 hours ago" I'm hysterically at this point crying making people look at me as if i'm crazy while some just took videos of it making me cry even more.. only if they knew the reason
"This got to be some sick joke right? haha u got me there, now come on tell your brother to come pick me up" i said trying to not cry
"he would be coming right??" I hopefully said while laughing
"y/n i don't-" she tried talking but i just hung up on her
Slowing getting up from the floor i called my driver to come and pick me up still trying to call coop. It has to be some sick joke cause ain't no way.
time skip...
I finally got to our house opening the door hoping to see coop scooping me in his arms kissing and hugging me till I'm short of breath, the dogs barking while trying to climb over my thighs.. but,no sound... nothing just dead silence and the dogs silently eating like they know what was happening, looks like he gave them food before leaving i thought.
I pulled them hugging them whispering to them that everything is gotta be okey. I didn't even realize it was morning at this point and in the midst of all this i was still calling coop, my love, my everything hoping that he will pick up at least once so that i know he was okey.
One year later
With that, i put on pause all my schedules while just going through all the stages of grief.. painfully accepting that he's gone and i never got to kiss, hold, sleep, or comfort him for the last time. I should've known he needed me. it's all your fault, you were supposed to be the closest to him but here we are.
We just got back from the beach from honoring Coop's death, it sounds weird whenever I say I laugh and smile rather than crying when I think of him, it's like he's with me and so I can't help but be filled with joy whenever he comes in mind.
"I will forever love you, baby angel, fly high my love,. and hope you are in peace up there"
