𝚂𝚊𝚛𝚌𝚊𝚜𝚖 𝚒𝚜 𝙼𝚢 𝙱𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝙵𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍 (Complete)

𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚍𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚢,

Today was the absolute worst day of my life.

'Why,' you ask? I'll tell you that it's not because I'm talking to a bunch of dead tree pieces. It's because one of my dearest classmates, Cat Adelia Brooks, is the most annoying ten-year-old girl on planet earth. No, she's the most annoying human on planet earth. No, the most annoying being ever to exist.

Pretty much she's super-duper annoying.

More annoying than when your sibling steals the last slice of your favorite pizza that you only get once a year because it's incredibly greasy and unhealthy.

As class president, Cat can pretty much do like whatever she wants. Totes unfair. Not to mention she totally cheated to get that position. But of course, her daddy's a big school sponsor and no one can do a thing about anything she does.

Like a champ, I stole her boyfriend from right under her. You should have seen him. He was totes in love with me. VBD everyone since now I was totes on her PIH list (PIH stands for people I hate, dear dumb diary).

So we had been a few minutes into our new status as TT (totally taken) when Cat approached us with her jealous rage. 'How dare you, Emilie!' she screamed in her annoying squeaky voice. 'I'll sue you for taking my boyfriend from me!'

Or something along those lines, I can't really remember. I couldn't care enough to answer, I just grabbed her ex-boyfriend's shirt and kissed him right on the cheek. You should have seen how red his face got. It was so cute.

Anyways, back to Cat's soap opera. 'I'll have my daddy sue you for what you've done!' Blah, blah, blah. YGTI.

I only fully pay attention when I see the all too familiar grin appear on her face. It's such a dumb look for her. It makes me sick. 'You know, Emilie. I'm in the market for a new personal maid.'

Who in the sock-stinking world has a maid nowadays?

'I do,' she replies to the question I didn't know I said aloud. 'I also have some blackmail. Perhaps some things that you don't want your...more-than-friends friend here...to find out.'

Pfft. She can't even say he's my boyfriend.

'Maybe you want me to whisper it in your ear instead?'

You don't need to know what she told me, and I will not admit it's true. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. I only agreed because the entire school would be bribed into believing her anyway. I have a reputation I worked hard for. I don't want it to be ruined by one very short spoiled blonde.

Therefore, my entire weekend was spent cleaning toilets—I don't even want to know what she ate—, watching Cat's personal fashion shows (extra blinding sparkles edition), cleaning shoes on Cat's stinky feet, and doing the assigned homework three times—mine, Cat's, and her new boyfriend's (totally going to steal him from her tomorrow once I'm done being her 'maid').

So how was your day, dear boring paper? Well, you're not boring anymore since I wrote on you in my beautiful handwriting.

You're welcome.