A Dragon's Treasure

Chapter 26 - Th Sound of Emptiness

Roman couldn't hear anything around him over the rush of blood in his own ears. He knew there was a commotion, people shouting and yelling, Logan's deep voice attempting to explain things, but Roman couldn't focus on any of it. His mind was drawn to the scene in front of him, the only thing that was real. There was blood on his hands.

He hadn't meant to, he didn't want this, but his training had kicked in. In less than an instant, it was over, no time to think, no time to stop himself. This wasn't his plan.

Roman was on his knees, not even sure when that had happened, desperately hoping this was a lie, that she would turn to him at any moment and they could find some common ground. She was his mother, and he wanted to be able to find peace with her, wanted a future.

But she wouldn't turn to him anymore. She hadn't for a very long time.

The queen was looking off to the side, not even in his direction, but Roman knew her eyes were quickly growing dull. This wasn't the first time someone had lost their life at his hand. He was a prince. He had been under attack multiple times in his life, but this was different. This was his mother. It didn't matter what struggles the two of them might have had, she was still his mother. He still loved her.

"Hey, hey, focus on me," Remus' voice was cutting through the noise. "Don't think about anything else, just focus on me okay Ro-bro." His head was being turned away from her. He was being forced to look at his brother instead. He didn't want to look away. He had to be punished for what he had done.

"You did what you had to do to protect yourself. She attacked first, this isn't your fault," His voice was a soft gentle whisper that Roman had never heard before. It was strange to hear Remus so sincere, so gentle. He was a lot warmer too with the dragon's blood, and Roman felt cold. He reached out, clinging to his brother's arm, clinging to his words. This would be his anchor for the time being, lest he get swept away in his grief.

Somewhere deep in his heart, he knew that his mother had forfeited her role a long time ago, pushing him in ways that were disastrous to his mental health and no longer concerning herself with his needs, but that part was very deeply buried. It was hidden behind the memories of good times, of times when his father was still alive and when they were all still a family. He had destroyed that, he had taken her life and now things could never return to the way they were. There was no longer hope.

He was a murderer.

"No one is going to blame you for what happened."

"I... I..." He couldn't get the words out. He had killed his mother, he had stabbed her. Of course, they would blame him! It was a well-placed stab, people would call into question how 'unintentional' it was. Maybe that's what he deserved. Her death would have been quick and painless, but that didn't change the fact that he had been the one to cause it.

"Don't think about it, bro. Don't think, don't worry, don't fret, I'm here to support you." Roman was pulled into a hug and immediately he started to bawl. Everything he had stood for, protecting the people of this country, showing compassion, and learning from mistakes, felt like ash in his heart, torn apart by the fact that he wasn't able to give compassion to a person he wanted to show it to. How much harder would it be when it was someone he didn't want to have compassion for.

This wasn't what he wanted. This wasn't the ending that he had been hoping for. He honestly wasn't entirely sure what ending he wanted but this wasn't it. He clung to Remus, his sobs falling into silent tears on his twin's shoulder. She might not have been the best mother, but she was still his mother. She had raised him, and once upon a time, she had loved him.

"Please," He whispered. "I didn't mean to, this isn't what I wanted."

He could feel Remus' breath hitch as he pulled Roman closer. "I know, I know." He repeated, holding Roman tighter. Roman could hear his voice drop, the comforting seriousness a light balm on his soul. "I know, and I'm here."

Roman wasn't sure how long the next span of time was. He could still hear the buzz of activity around them, could still feel people poking and prodding, though Remus warned him anytime someone was going to come by and need something. After a long while, though Roman had no way of knowing how long, Logan came to sit by them, gently stroking Roman's arm just to provide another point of familiar contact.

It was appreciated, but Roman felt as if he didn't deserve it. He felt like a monster.

"Her body has been taken away," Logan eventually said, his voice low and soft. He didn't need to be treated like glass. He didn't deserve it.

"Would you like to return to your room?"

Roman nodded because it wasn't here. Anywhere would have been better than here. He needed to rest, needed to escape all of this. How could they stand to look at him after what he had done?

He could feel himself being pulled up, brought to his feet, and then slowly led away. Roman leaned heavily on the person who was leading him, relying on their strength as he seemed to have none left. When they finally got to his room, it was a mess, but he just couldn't seem to care. He let his brother lead him over to the bed, hearing Remus swear a bit about the state of things. He hadn't left it messy, but it had been a very long time since he had been in this room.

"Rest Ro, I'll be here when you wake up, but rest. I think you are going to need it."

There was another conversation that he couldn't quite follow, something about Logan finding the imposter. Roman didn't really want to know. He just closed his eyes, hoping to get some sleep. He wasn't physically tired, but being unconscious felt like it would be really nice right now. Maybe, for just a little while, he could forget who he was and what had happened.

He closed his eyes and let the world go black around him.