A Dragon's Treasure

Chapter 14 - Choice Over Destiny

"Look, I'm not saying you can't date him, I'm just saying do you have to make out with him in public spaces?" There was no malice in Roman's voice, in fact, there was almost a light mirthful air to his words. He and Logan were sitting in his bedroom, on his bed. Roman had given up pretending that he was reading and had instead been brushing his hair and following a new skincare routine that Patton had suggested. He was just starting to wash off his face as he decided to bring up the unspoken curse between them.

"It isn't my fault that your brother is... fascinating," Logan responded, looking up from the book that he was pretending to read.

"Ew."

Logan looked up at Roman, his eyebrow cocked, and they both sat in silence for a minute. "Fine, Fine," Roman said. "I'm glad you're happy." He really didn't begrudge Logan and Remus being together, it was strange, but Roman knew it would take someone special to capture Logan's heart and Remus certainly was a character.

"You seem happier too."

"What?" His surprise was palpable, what did Logan mean? He hadn't changed, at least, he didn't think he had. Then again, as he thought about it, maybe he had. Wasn't it a testament to how he had changed just the fact that he was doing these little beauty things for himself and not because he had to keep up appearances? This hadn't been for court, but because it was relaxing.

Logan put down his book. "Do you really not see it?" He asked, "You smile more often and more brightly. You have been less harsh on yourself, trying things you might fail at. Being here has given you the chance to just be."

"I... I guess it has." Roman ran his fingers along the seams of his pants. It felt strange to admit, strange to know that he was changing little by little, but it brought up other issues. If he changed as a person, it did bring in to question a few things.

"Do you think that all of those things I accomplished in our kingdom weren't my own? What if, because I was only doing what I was told, my selfish intentions caused my good deeds to backfire? Or can I even take credit for the work that I did?"

"Roman, take a deep breath. You set up a new curriculum for knights that helped break the old caste system. You developed a system to make sure that food was more accessible during hard times. You found a way to break the curse. All of these are major accomplishments, and considering their outcome, I don't think your intentions affect the actual outcome of these accomplishments, and they are your accomplishments. Where is this all coming from?"

Roman fell silent again, it was something he had been thinking about the past few days. "What's my purpose?" He said softly. "I was always supposed to become king, but now... I am really enjoying spending every day having fun, but I... I need more in my life. I want... I want to help my people." Roman curled up tightly, letting out a slow sigh. "But, is that just me following what I've been told, or is this really what I want?"

"That is... that is a tough question, and I think you are the only one who can answer that."

Roman felt the warmth of Logan's hand on his back, a comfort that just told him he wasn't alone. "I sacrificed everything I had for my kingdom, and I would do it again but... but I want to give them everything I have and everything I am on my terms. I don't want to be stuck under the thumb of rules that make no sense, I don't want to have to deny my accomplishments because someone else said they weren't enough." He looked up at Logan. "I want to be king."

"Then, I think that's your answer."

"But I can't, my deal with Janus-"

"What if we go talk to him about it? Be straightforward and see if he would be willing to let you go." Logan held out his own wrist with the dragon's mark. "I don't think either of us will be truly able to leave the hoard, but that doesn't mean you can't go back home."

"Is it weird to say this place also feels like home?"

"I don't think so, home can mean a lot of different things to different people, of course, there are actual dictionary definitions but I do understand that is not the sentiment you are attempting to convey." Logan waved his thought off, "Your home can be wherever you want or need it to be, and that includes multiple places."

"If he says that I can leave, will you visit?"

"Of course, but I think first, it would be good for you to really think about this. Sit with your decision for a bit. I just wanted to make sure that going back there is what you want. You were... unhappy."

As Logan said those words a lifetime of memories flooded Roman's mind, every time he was told he couldn't do something because it was unbecoming of his status, every time he had to spend all of his day inside listening to meetings with no end, feeling his body stiffen, every chastising comment, every glossed over accomplishment. He had spent his entire life trying to get the approval of others, trying to be seen as a perfect prince and a perfect son, but not anymore. Roman had just barely tasted freedom, and he enjoyed it far too much.

"I know, but this time, I'm going to do things on my terms. I'm done searching for my mother's approval, done hoping that I can be good enough. I want to do things for me. I want to be a good leader for my people because that's what they deserve. I... I've been drawing, and not what my mother would normally consider acceptable. It's abstract and strange, and this is something I can keep doing, even as king, I have an outlet, I can have something that is completely mine."

Logan smiled softly at Roman. There was pride in his eyes, and Roman couldn't explain how happy that made him. "If that's how you truly feel, then you have my blessing."

Roman laughed, gently pushing Logan, "As if I needed it." His smile was warm, getting Logan's blessing actually meant a lot, it made him feel like he was going in the right direction. Roman, King of Nevarci, that had a nice ring to it.