It Starts. Slows Down. Then Stops.

Chapter 4 - My Depression Anxiety & Relationships.

I have had a long fulfilled life of depression, of anxiety, and relationships. Many of my relationships have had anxiety twisted around it. I have always had anxiety, whether its feeling guilty, betrayed, or alone. It has always been there since I have been a little kid, it did not just come into my life randomly. As some people, my friends, already know. January 23, at 6:42PM, I was admitted to Mercy Emergency Room. The technical issue that I as unaware of was that, I have gallstones in my gallbladder, I have IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome), and severe anxiety. The severe anxiety is what causes my IBS, and that my gallstones are not severe to cause attacks. Ever since January, I have not been able to eat correctly, or be with my friends correctly, where my anxiety levels are EXTREMELY high. There are many things contributing to my anxiety such as friendships, and family relationships etc. Nothing to serious, my body just exaggerating everything, Ha! To move on, my depression, carrying on since February of 2013, is not something I really prefer talking about. Whether its to my family or closest friends. This had occurred when I was going through a huge emotional and mental change. Nothing to severe, just staying up late at night. Crying some nights, listening to really sad music, and trying to stay happy for my friends. No matter what happens, I know that my friends are what matters most, and that I cannot let myself over come that. So now, some of you may know about my depression, which yes, I still currently have. Please don't ask me about it, I will not discuss it nor tell you what is causing it. There is no answer. Relationships, welp, this is always a sad topic. I dated until 6th grade, after which I stopped for a two year period. Also, there were some times during the two year period, spur of the moment type of situations. Just thought that I'd clarify. Dating was really a immature thing, and some times, I still find it immature. The reason being, most people don't technically go on "dates", they don't hangout often, someone in the relationship is still in love with there ex, etc. There are many things. I literally feel like I am ranting about utter bullshit. Whatever though ha. Anyways, I just thought I should let every and all of you know that information about me. :)