What You Left Behind

Part 1

Here we are again, sitting in this cream-colored room, the sound of people walking outside and the distant beeping of machines. And him, the drained tired face of my friend. I've known Blaze for a very long time. Hell were childhood best friends. My mom moved into the apartment complex Blaze lived in once my dad left. Growing up was hard but Blaze was always there for me like he is now. I hate dragging him to these places, he doesn't do good with the bland Erie-ness of the hospitals. But since that day, that dreaded day, laying on the floor coughing up what seemed like to be blood, I had to come. I've had countless tests run and scans done. They thought it might be cancer due to the results from the scans so they took a biopsy of the tissue and sent it off to the lab a couple of days ago. Now we just sit here in pain, anxiety-filled, silence. That was till the doctors came in, it felt like the whole world fell at my feet when they read off the results of the paperwork. Those dreaded words I wish I could've never heard, "They came back positive." What do you do when you realize you basically don't have a 'normal' life anymore? What do you do when the person you care about most now also knows you're dying faster than the rest of the population? That's something I wish I knew at this moment but I didn't. The doctors gave us a basic rundown on the options I could do to help slow down my condition. We set up plans for a further appointment and were set free. During the car ride, home Blaze wouldn't even look at me. I felt bad that I put him in this position but surely he can't be mad at me for this? Well, I guess my question was answered when he pulled up and got out just heading straight to his room that happened to be right next to mine. Now alone, in my empty apartment. Staring at my reflection in the mirror, my pale skin and messy green hair felt out of place. Everything just feels like a bad dream, praying to god that this is a sick joke and I don't have this fatal disease. My legs start to quiver as the reality of everything hits me like a freight train. Falling to the floor in a pitiful effort to maybe at least cry everything out, maybe accept this fate. But no, no tears were coming and no resolution to my fate. Just left here, curled in a trembling ball on the bathroom floor like a dog.
That's when I hear it. The muffled sound of crying seems to be coming from my bedroom. I jump over piles of laundry and manage to open my door to try and find the source of the noise. But that's when I realize that it is in fact not coming from my room, but from the room of my neighbor and friend. I would head over but I think that might make things worse, so in my pathetic attempt at comfort I knock on the wall. My knock was greeted with silence from the other side followed by a very soft knock on the wall from the upset man next door. Not knowing what to do I just sit there, imagining he can know that I wanna help. I just don't know how or I thought so at least till there was a knock on my door. Popping up and traversing through my apartment I open the door to Blaze just standing there with his head lowered looking at the floor. I let him in and sat on the couch like I usually do when we hang out. But this time was different. There was no talking, no bragging, no complaining about work. Just silence. But this silence wasn't like the silence that commenced at the hospital. It was more understanding. Especially when Blaze sat down next to me practically collapsing onto me hugging me tightly. With a sigh I hug him back, holding him tightly as if nothing can hurt him now. It hurts me to see him like this. All hurt and distraught, I don't know what to do with it but at the moment I think I'm ok just holding him. Helping him with silence and my presence, not saying a word to him as he eventually falls asleep on me. I don't mind tho, I miss having little moments with him and when he stays over I tend to sleep very well and I very much need that after today.