What You Left Behind

Part 2

The beam of light from the window catches almost perfectly on my face to wake me up. The blonde man was still curled up on my chest sleeping peacefully. The soft up and down of his chest as he lay seemingly unbothered by anything in the world. That didn't last long though as he stirred and inevitably woke up with a groan. We didn't say a word for a while, just laying there in each other's presence until he sat up running a hand through his hair. He gave me a slight smile before getting up and making me and him some tea. "Oi, what do you want me to cook? I'm not letting you eat frozen breakfast sandwiches anymore." He says leaning on the back of the couch, mug in hand. "Um...I don't know?" He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, "I'll just make eggs and toast." He said as she pushed off the couch and headed into the kitchen. Soon the savory smell of bacon filled the apartment making me even more hungry than I was. It was shortly after that he called me to eat and set the table, sitting next to me. We ate in silence for a while, not really knowing what to say. The information from yesterday is still hanging in the air, unspoken. That was until he turned to me. "Hey, so what are we gonna do about..well you know?" Honestly, I didn't know, I hadn't really thought about it. Hell, I haven't really processed all that yet and by the look on my face, it seemed he knew that too. "I'll help you, you know that right?" He looked down avoiding my eye contact. I can tell he's upset and I don't wanna put something like this on him but truthfully if I might inevitably die, it would be nice to spend it with him. With the one person that's always been there for me. We weren't together, we weren't dating by any stretch, it would just be nice to spend the time I have with him. "I know Blaze...I know. You don't have to though, you know that right? You gotta think about your own mental health before you think of me.", "I know that dumbass. I wouldn't be offering if I didn't wanna help you and you know that.", "I know, I just...I don't know anymore." I sigh, running my fingers through my hair. Truthfully I was scared, but truthfully what are you supposed to be when you find out you have cancer. In your lungs of all places. It was already hard for me to breathe normally, now I have cancer? It's just scary to think about. Nothing is going wrong yet, except the occasional coughing fits but what about in the future? What happens then? My thoughts kept spiraling until Blaze touched my shoulder. "Oi your mumbling again, knock it off. It's gonna be ok." You can tell he's trying to be optimistic and help. But optimism doesn't come naturally to him. I do appreciate the effort though. "Sorry, sorry, just got lost in thought.", "You're overthinking things. We don't even know how bad it is. So just save the worry for when we actually know how bad it is, but even then we can just go from there. Got it? " It sounded more like a demand than a question so I just nodded. "Good, now get dressed, I'm taking you somewhere." He said, abruptly standing up and cleaning up the mess from breakfast. I sat there confused for a few seconds before listening to his words and went to get ready. I threw on some simple clothes and went to the bathroom to do my hair. Looking in the mirror always felt off, the reflection just didn't look right. The messy green mop on my head, the pale, freckled-covered skin. I just didn't feel right. Due to this, I don't spend much time there, just enough to fix my hair and head back to Blaze When I got back to the living room he was just sitting in my chair reading a book before setting it down on the side table. "Come on nerd, we're leaving." He said before standing up and sliding on his boots. "Where are we even going?", "You'll see, now come on." I didn't question it and followed him out to the car, hopping in the passenger seat. He did this from time to time in high school but we haven't gone on a mysterious car ride in a while.
It was a 25-30 min drive out to this field near the outskirts of town. Our moms used to take us here in the spring when the blackberries were ripe and we'd run around chasing each other through the field. My attention is brought back to the present by Blaze hopping out of the car. I follow behind him as he pulls out a blanket and a backpack, continuing to walk away from the car. Slightly confused, I follow and he leads me through the field to this opening in between some trees. He sets up the blanket and sits down next to me. The light breeze drifting past and the sweet sound of birds in the distance, sky a bright blue, scattered with fluffy clouds, and the rustling of grass gave the world around us life. And we just sat there. In the calm atmosphere, not worrying about anything. Just calm. Blaze pulled some snacks out of the bag he brought with him and we ate peacefully. Seeing Blaze smile, genuinely smile was a rare thing but it made my heart flutter. Him just staring into the distance relaxed and smiling. I couldn't help but smile as well, a light rose tint to my cheeks now I'm sure of it. He seemed to notice me looking at him and instead of giving his usual snarky remark he gave me a light smile and moved closer to me. So much so that our shoulders were now touching. My face felt hot and I'm sure it was turning a now varying shade of red while we sat here. But Blaze didn't seem to care. The truth is I've always liked him. We were childhood friends and I know the whole childhood friends trope is silly but with him it just made sense. He was there when my dad left when we first moved in. Hell even every school year. Yes, we had our ups and downs, there was a period of a few years where he wouldn't really even talk to me, yet even then he was still there. He and his mom helped me when my mom got really sick. And he was there the day I saw my mom pass. He just was always there, no matter if I wanted him to be. And even now, with this illness I have, he's here, sitting with me and taking my mind off of it. And I know it's wrong, I shouldn't have feelings for a friend since it always leads to trouble but maybe, in this world, this timeline, it will work out. And god do I hope it does. In the midst of all my thoughts, I feel an arm rest around my shoulders pulling me in. In where I know I'm safe, where nothing can bother me. And we sat. Just sat. My head on his shoulder and the soft rusting of the tree's around us, mixed with the light humming from Blaze made me relax more.