kiss me, leave me + ljn

too late

JENO
eunji
can i talk to you
please?
seen 3:40am

—

eunji tossed and turned in bed, unable to fall asleep. she sat up, groaning at herself, feeling frustrated at the situation. she got out from her bed and got dressed in her hoodie and sweatpants, deciding to take a walk to the nearby park.

she locked her apartment door and looked at the elevator. she felt tight and uncomfortable so she decided to take the stairs instead to relax her muscles.

at that moment, jeno pressed the "up" button on the elevator. he tapped his foot against the ground, anxiously waiting for the elevator door to open.

after what felt like forever, the elevator doors opened and jeno walked in, pressing the button to the fifth floor. the doors closed and the elevator jolted, bringing jeno up.

eunji walked down the last flight of stairs, reaching the lobby of her apartment building. she walked out the front doors, the cold air slapping her in the face. her hands started to freeze so she stuffed them into her pockets, squeezing her arms tight against her body in an attempt to keep herself warm.

the elevator door opened, reaching the fifth floor. jeno stepped out and slowly walked to her door. his heart pounding in his chest as he tried to slow down his breathing. he looked down at the bouquet of flowers in his hand, starting to overthink every little detail. are the flowers too much?

he cleared his throat, trying to brush his anxious thoughts away.

he reached her door and froze. is she going to hate me even more? he started to ponder possible scenarios that could unfold once he knocked on her door. he didn't want to cause more trouble, but he also felt the need to tell her what he felt.

although he knew she doesn't owe him any of her time, he still wanted to make things right. or at least try to.

he took a deep breath and raised his closed fist up. here goes nothing. he knocked on her door.

no answer.

she inhaled deeply, smelling the cold, rainy air fill up her nostrils as the wind blew against her body. it was freezing cold, but being alone at the park at four in the morning felt liberating.

eunji hasn't felt this relaxed in a very long time. she finally was able to feel free. this feeling would eventually go away once she has to face reality when the sun rises again, but she just wanted to savour the moment and pretend it was never going to leave.

jeno tried knocking again. it's four a.m., maybe she's asleep. but she left my message on seen, so she could be awake? is she ignoring me?

he tried again. he started to be consumed by his thoughts, trying to figure out a reason as to why she would be ignoring him. they were all valid reasons, of course, but he still tried to figure it out anyways.

he sighed, hoping that she would be able to hear him if she was still awake. "hey eunji, it's me jeno.", he started, leaning on the door, "i know you probably don't want to talk to me right now and i understand why.".

eunji gazed up at the sky, the stars starting to get brighter the longer she stared. in that moment, she felt so small. there was so much more to know about in the universe and there she was, sitting on a park bench at four a.m., feeling heartbroken, all because of a teenage boy.

she chuckled dryly, feeling pathetic and disappointed in herself. disappointed that she would allow some teenage boys to play with her feelings. but she was more disappointed at herself for being so affected by them.

"i'm sorry for the shit i've done. i shouldn't have agreed to that bet. it was a game i never should've played. cause you're not a game, eunji. you're a person. an amazing, beautiful and kind person. and i am so sorry for breaking your trust into pieces. and i am so sorry for making you feel like you were just a game to me."

tears started to roll down her cheeks. this hurts. she continued to gaze up at the sky, watching the stars sparkle in the night. why do i love him? why does my heart ache because of him?

even after the hurt he has caused her, she wanted to believe that he genuinely cared for her. don't be a fool. she shook her head, feeling ridiculous and naive for even thinking that he might have actually cared about her. that he might have actually liked her.

"you mean the world to me, eunji. it's my fault for creating this mess. i was so blinded by heartache and pride that i failed to protect and treasure what was in front of me. i failed to love you, eunji."

she could not contain it anymore. her sniffles turned into weeps as she started to let her tears go. "why do you have to hurt me like this, jeno?", she cried out, clutching at the fabric covering her chest, feeling like she was going to pass out from crying.

"please, give me a chance to show you how much i love you. let me love you again, eunji. please... i can't lose you, eunji." tears were falling uncontrollably, as he held onto the bouquet of flowers in his arms, memories of eunji flashing through his mind.

her laugh. her smile. her.
he chuckled dryly, wondering how he managed to fuck up so badly that he lost her?

he wiped his away his tears with the back of his hand, gently placing the bouquet of flowers by her door. he stood up straight, adjusting her clothes and he looked at the door, "i'll wait for you, eunji. no matter how long it takes.".

eunji slowly started to lay down on her side while she continued to cry into her hands. i love you, jeno. why would you do this to me?

her cries turned into weeps as she continued to sob into her hands, slowly drifting off to sleep.

after a couple hours, the sun started to rise, shining straight at eunji. her eyes fluttered open, scanning her surroundings. she sighed, realising she fell asleep on the park bench. eunji started to make her way home, shivering from the sweat she had accumulated while crying.

as she reached the front door of her apartment building, she greeted the garbage disposal workers before making her way up to her apartment. she stepped out of the elevator and started walking towards her door.

one of the workers was on the other end of the hallway, picking up trash bags placed by the door of other people's apartments.

she reached into her pocket and pulled out her keys, unlocking the door and making her way inside.