Another Way | Adopted by Gerard Way (Book Three)

42

Content warning: allusions to sex

A few states over from California, at the time during which Harley was holding Finn as he cried, Emerald was holding Evelyn in much the same way. On a pristine white, smooth hotel duvet, the pillows stacked up against the headboard for support, they clung to each other. Emerald hadn't seen her wife panic like this in years with the whole nine yards of trembling, gasping for air, and being bombarded with bad memories. She was beginning to wonder if she should Face-time Gerard and have him try to calm Evelyn down over the call. Then, something in Evelyn shifted.

"I have to do this," she said between sobs, speaking for the first time in several minutes.

"You don't have to do anything, love," Emerald said, glad that Evelyn had found her voice as she rocked her slowly.

"Yes, I do," she insisted, "I have to. I doesn't matter how fucking painful it'll be 'cause it'll be better for you and Harley."

"What me and Harley do or don't need shouldn't be your priority right now, Eve. You need to put yourself first."

"But I have to think about you and Harley because I'm too fucking weak to do this for my own best interest. I just know I can't keep making you and Harley live like this. It would be so much easier for everyone if I could just gather the courage to go through with it sooner rather than later, if it isn't already too late."

Evelyn was resting her head on Emerald's chest, pretty sure that the sound of her wife's heartbeat was the only tether keeping her on earth. Then, Emerald's soft fingers found Evelyn's jawline and tilted her head up so that they could kiss despite the salty tears coating Evelyn's lips, giving her something new to cling to.

"First of all, you are not weak, Eve. You're hurting," Emerald said as they parted the brief yet impassioned kiss. She smoothed Evelyn's hair when she laid her head back down. "Secondly, I appreciate that you want to let someone else drive for the rest of the tour for my sake, but I wouldn't feel good about letting you go through with that when it's causing you so much distress. And I understand that you want to learn to drive for Harley's sake, too, but we don't need to be thinking about that right now. There are still, like, two weeks of the book tour left. Let's get through that first, okay?"

"But you're hurting, too, Em," Evelyn said, her tears having ceased as she listened to Emerald speak, but her voice still just as broken. "I just want to make the rest of tour easier for you and the simplest way to do that is to hire someone to drive instead."

"Having a break for a few days really helped, though, and I'm feeling as good as new. I can handle another couple weeks, I promise."

Evelyn sighed as the sound of vehicles driving by and distant chatter drifted through the open window with a breath of warm night air. The white curtain inflated and deflated with the ebb and flow of the breeze. She was too exhausted to argue, as she always felt after a panic attack, like she'd just been awake for days. The panic had been brewing since she'd decided during her morning shower that she'd tell Emerald they could hire a driver. It had risen like water held back by a dam all day until the floodgates had finally cracked under the pressure and she'd felt herself drowning in it, Emerald jumping in to be her life preserver.

"We'll talk about this again tomorrow," she replied.

The couple, silent in each other's arms and breathing in sync, listened to the sounds of the outside world under the white light of a bedside lamp. Then, the regular rushing of cars was interrupted by a pattering against the window screen.

Emerald picked her head up and lolled it over to one side so that she could see the window. Groaning, she said, "Fucking moths."

"Moths are cool," Evelyn said, barely moving her lips.