My Notes To You

29 | Comfort

Zayden

I hate myself. Why didn't I just tell her? Now she won't talk to me. This morning she walked right past me when I tried talking to her.

She ate a bowl of cereal while staring at her phone the entire time then retreated to her room. She's full-on ignoring me and I can't blame her. I'm not sure if I'd do the same in her position but I certainly would be disappointed.

As I'm staring at the ceiling I hear my phone buzz, meaning I got a text message. I immediately shoot up and grab it from the counter hoping it's from her, but it's not.

It's from an unknown number. I sigh and set my phone down on the bed beside me.

My phone keeps going off and when I finally check it still hoping it's her, I see it's from that unknown number.

Having enough, I open the message to see what it's about and I wish I could go back in time and never open that message.

Unknown

Zayden, it's me your father.
I know I've messed up and believe me
I regret everything I ever did. I was
stupid and couldn't realize how much
your mom loved me. I'm sorry I
missed a huge part of your life. I'm
sorry I missed Summers life. But if
you let me back in your life, I would
be so happy. I'm not doing so well
right now and I need support. Please
get back to me and maybe call me, I
want to hear your voice.

Is this a joke? How does this unknown number know me and Summers's names? Before I can process anything, the unknown number calls me. I debate whether I should answer or not.

If it's really my "father" like they say, should I answer? I made the dumbest decision ever by answering.

There was silence for a moment before the person on the other end spoke up. "Zayden?" Shit, it sounds exactly how I remember.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Is this a joke?

I swallow the huge spit that gathered up in my mouth. "Jacob?" My "father's" name is Jacob. I know that he's my birth father and that I should call him "Dad" but why should I call someone who hasn't even tried to make contact with me for six years my "dad"?

"Zayden, it's good to hear from you, you're voice has changed a lot." Well no shit, you left me when I was eleven fucking years old. "How did you get this number?" I harshly say, swallowing another lump of spit.

"Let's just say I have my ways" I hear him laugh. So this is funny to him. "So how have you been?" He asks and I hear shuffling from the other end.

Since when does he care? He hasn't cared for the last six years why does he care now? "Great" I don't want to say too many words to him.

"That's good, my son." Son? "I'm not your son, not anymore" I bluntly tell him. I'm not being harsh, I'm being reasonable.

"You are my son, I raised you." Is he serious right now? "Yeah, and you couldn't raise me past the age of eleven" I shoot back having enough of his bullshit.

I can hear him scoff from the other end. "That doesn't change the fact that I am your father!" He raises his voice. Oh, how I wish I could punch the daylights out of him right now.

"Yeah and my stepdad is more fatherly than you ever were." I can hear more shuffling around through the phone before he speaks again. "Wait, your mother remarried?" And of course, he doesn't know anything.

He tries coming back into my life without knowing anything. "Yes and she's happier than ever, so don't you ever try and ruin that, Jacob." Yeah, you will never catch me calling that guy dad again.

"I am your father Zayden, you should address me as your dad." He raises his voice. Yeah and I'm done with him now. "Never again will I call you Dad. Don't talk to me, don't call me, I never want you in my life ever again, goodbye Jacob." I say before hanging up.

Maybe I was too harsh? I mean he was my father after all.

I can feel the bottled-up tears make their way out of my eyes until I'm full-on sobbing. I never cry, I never feel the need to cry. Until last night and today. Oh, and yes, I sobbed a little last night. But we don't mention it.

My small sobs turn to full-on silent crying. There was a knock on my door but I ignored it, I couldn't really see with the tears covering my sight. There was another knock but I just couldn't get up.

The door opens and through my clouded eyes I can make out a face. Ali.

Shit, she's standing in the doorway staring at me. I wipe my eyes and force a smile toward her. But she doesn't say a word.

She closes the door and comes up to me. My tears are probably still visible to her because she wraps her arms around me. "Zayden" she settles herself on the bed, still holding me carefully. "Why are you crying Zayden?"

She's so gentle, even though she was mad earlier. And now I can't contain it, I full-on burst tears in her arms. But she doesn't seem bothered, she just holds me and caresses my back. "Ali, why?" I hold her tightly.

"Why what, Zayden?" Her hands make their way to my hair as she rubs it softly. She repositions us until she's laying down and I'm on top of her, laying on her chest. "Why did he leave us?" I breathe out, letting the tears fall onto her shirt.

"Your dad?" She asks, playing with my hair. I nod. God, I feel so stupid. I never let anyone see me cry, but here I am crying in her arms like a lost little kid. Maybe I still am one?

"I don't know, Zay." She pulls me closer to her and just rubs my back.

She sure knows how to cheer someone up. Even if she just stood there watching me cry, I'd feel some comfort knowing she's there.

I don't want to let go. I hold her tightly, and she doesn't seem bothered. She's holding me while running her hands through my hair. We sit in silence while I sob. I feel better knowing that she's there.

Ali picks up my phone and shows it to me. "Can you unlock your phone please?" I'll just give her the password. "The password is 5673," I tell her and see her eyes widen a little.

"Why'd you tell me the password?" She asks, unlocking my phone. "Because I trust you and I don't have anything to hide from you. Not anymore." That gains a smile from her. It's true, she's the person I trust the most.

I watch as she reads the message from my "father" before blocking the number and deleting it from my phone. She smiles at me before pulling me back into her chest.

And then she does something unexpected. She kisses my head, repeatedly in a calming matter. Fuck, I think I'm getting butterflies.

It really does help with calming me down though, how does she know how to calm me down? Only a few minutes ago I was full-on bursting into tears, now I'm being held like a baby who's getting kisses on the head.

But it's too calming. Because my vision becomes blurry and soon everything is black.

Sleep.

❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎❤︎︎
Authors Note

AAAAA THIS WAS KINDA FUN TO WRITE. But Zayden my baby I love him so much and ugh. The way Ali calmed him down so easily, I want someone to do that to me. :( anyways u almost got a kiss scene ;) not yet tho but soon.

i promise this slow burn will unslowburn soon believe me !