Pretty Boy

Chapter 5

RJ found it strangely humorous that she had spent so much time looking at herself in the past two days. Yesterday she wanted to make sure she looked perfect for her reunion with Steve. Today, she was examining the damage done by her brother the night prior. There were bruises on the sides of her arms from where he had grabbed her. The purple, yellowish kind of bruise that's sore to the touch. There were also the marks where his nails had sunk into her skin. She had slathered them in Neosporin, praying they'd look slightly better in the morning. A wave of relief rushed over her as she saw they had begun to heal quite a bit.

Max had never come home nor did Billy. Maybe if Max had come home, she would have made RJ call the police. It would be a way to get Billy out of their lives for good; RJ couldn't bring herself to do anything. She knew that she'd wake up the next day and Billy would probably forget he even did it in the first place. She thought about the look in his eyes, the smell of his breath. He must have taken something insane to do what he did to her.

She put on a long sleeve white sweatshirt to cover the bruises on her arms, along with a pair of overalls. She looked at herself once more in the mirror and took a deep breath. She could deal with Billy later, right now, she just had to worry about getting through the car ride with Steve.

RJ waited in front of Steve's house for him to come out. The entire ride there, she couldn't stop thinking about her brother. Billy had always been violent towards her and Max, but it had never gotten more physical than the occasional grasp of a wrist. She did have it far worse than Max. Maybe it was because Billy saw her more as an equal and less of a child, Or maybe, it was because RJ pushed back on Billy more. She returned his anger with witty remarks, and more often than not, she paid for it. Maybe she did it to protect Max. She felt that if she took the punches, he would focus less on Max. Protecting Max from Billy's torment.

Without realizing it, RJ had been gripping the steering wheel so hard that her knuckles had turned white.

She saw Steve step out of his house and oddly felt relieved. She found it strange how yesterday the sight of Steve induced endless anxiety, and today, the sight of him eased her pain.

"Hey," Steve said as he opened the passenger door.

"Hi," RJ replied.

"You got more Kate Bush for me?"

RJ smiled and turned on the radio.

Somehow the entire car ride, conversation flowed almost as easily as it had when RJ and Steve had first met. RJ had started to forget about her brother. She wasn't focused on everything that happened with Steve in the past. All she could focus on was the present and how happy she felt in that car with Steve.

Steve was holding his blue sailor uniform, assessing one seam particularly closely.

"Do you have a pair of scissors?" He asked.

"Why?"

"I never took the tag off my uniform. I was wondering why it was so itchy," Steve remarked.

RJ chuckled, "Yeah, I have a pair in the pocket knife on my house keys," She gestured to the bag in the backseat.

Steve reached back to grab the bag. RJ couldn't help but notice his arms flexing as he reached into the back seat. She quickly snapped her gaze back onto the road.

Steve grabbed the tag on his uniform and began to precariously snip it away as close to the seam as possible.

"I started a new book," Steve said as he continued cutting his tag off.

"Really? What?" RJ was genuinely shocked.

"Well uh there was a showing of The Outsiders at the drive-in and I had gone with Katherine-"

Steve suddenly realized what he'd said. RJ tried to ignore it. She figured she shouldn't be hurt by Steve attempting to move on, but it still stung a bit. She honestly hoped that he would say that he was dating someone. It would make her dilemma infinitely easier. Steve quickly attempted to shift the conversation.

"And I really liked the movie, so I thought I'd give the book a shot... Honestly, I think I kind of look like the brother," Steve said.

"Patrick Swayze?" RJ questioned in disbelief.

"Yeah, I mean we've both got the hair and we're both kind of lady's men-"

Steve again realized that he probably shouldn't have said that.

"With all due respect Steve, you do not look like Patrick Swayze, and even if you did, that doesn't change anything. Girls are obsessed with Swayze in The Outsiders because he's like a bad boy with a soft interior," RJ responded.

"Are you saying I'm not that?" Steve protested.

RJ looked over at him and couldn't help but burst out in laughter.

"Don't laugh at me like that," Steve began to laugh along with RJ, "I am a bad boy with a soft interior. I think that perfectly sums me up."

RJ calmed her laughter as she pulled into a parking spot in front of the mall, "Steve, you wear a bright blue sailor costume for work every single day, and your best friend is a 15-year-old science nerd."

Steve sighed, "Ok, ok you may have a point there."

He looked at her, and for a moment, everything felt right. It felt like she was back with Steve and everything that happened in April didn't happen. It felt like they picked up right before everything went to shit. RJ let herself live in that fantasy for a moment. Then Steve leaned in and broke the illusion. She promptly looked away.

"I'm sorry," she spoke softly.

"No, don't apologize. I shouldn't have tried that," Steve turned away.

The silence crept back in. The comfortable conversation they shared with such ease was replaced by deafening silence.

The two of them sat there waiting for someone to say something. RJ wanted to burst out and tell him everything. How he made her feel different than anyone she'd ever met and how she wanted so desperately for another chance. Then she remembered that night. She had given Steve the worst Senior Prom possible. She broke his heart.

She gulped down the truth and broke the silence.

"Look, I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I don't feel that way about you. I was just...giving you a ride to work."

RJ could see the heartbreak in Steve's face. The way his eyes softened and his eyebrows upturned slightly. She remembered how he had that look on his face that night. She felt an ache of painful Deja vu in her stomach. She watched as he looked away, attempting to hide any form of visible sadness.

"I'm really sorry," she reiterated.

Steve steadied his breath, "It's fine. I'll...I'll leave you alone."

Steve stepped out of the car, leaving RJ alone. She watched him leave. Deep down, she hoped he would turn back even if it wouldn't change anything. She truly believed it was better this way. That she couldn't hurt him and he'd be free to find new love; only now she realized how hurt she was. She had hurt herself more than anyone in this situation.

She sat alone for a moment fully taking in everything that had just happened. There was always a thread of hope between her and Steve. She would catch him looking at her across the halls or at basketball games as she stood in the band section. There was always still a chance that something could happen. She felt tears creep up her throat. She now felt that the chance was gone, and she let herself grieve.

Then an even more horrifying realization hit RJ. She quickly grabbed her bag from her back seat and frantically shuffled through her things.

Steve had accidentally taken her house keys.